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On Chronic Pain

Why I hate being in constant pain.

Constant pain, burning pain, breathtaking pain. Unless I am asleep I am in pain. Things have been a little easier for the last two weeks as the Dr agreed to increase the morphine I take to 100 mg of slow release morphine per day. This period is coming to an end, and so I have started to slowly reduce the dose by taking 40 mg at night time and 50 mg during the day. Feeling the effects. It has been two nights on the lower dose and this morning I can tell. The bilateral sciatic pain is there again. It

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hospital appointment

My hospital appointment was cancelled. Now what?

Yes, you read that right, my hospital appointment has been cancelled. It’s not like I haven’t been expecting it. I always plan for the worst; I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed, but I guess the closer it got, the more I began to hope. The last few days my mobile has received calls from a ‘private’ number but on answering it has disconnected. This is unfortunately not uncommon as the signal in our home is shocking, even using wifi calling. When I finally got a connection, it was the hospital. Clinic’s are being cancelled. Thank you Covid! Cancelled Hospital

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stick to your diet

How to stick to your diet when you’re in pain.

When you are in pain all the time, sticking to your diet is often the last thing on your mind. When I hurt I want to nibble. I crave salted peanuts… yes I know, I love salty nuts. Go ahead giggle! But, I am a comfort eater, I admit it. The thing is, sometimes it is good to have something to focus on, ideally something that doesn’t require a lot of concentration, and trying to eat a healthy diet can be just the thing. I lost 5 stone (70lbs or 31.75kg) a few years ago, while I was in pain,

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Living Hell

The nerve block proceedure I had on the 29th did provide some relief for a few days, as long as I didn’t move about. When I did go out for brief periods to see if there was improvement, I was sadly dissapointed to find the relief was negligable. Sunday J went off to work, and we had time alone. Mr. H held me tight, kissed me and we made love. Sometimes I think you need vanilla, at least I do anyway. Later in the day when we got the cane out for my Sunday caning things went horribly wrong. I

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Well that was fun

This morning I woke up and the pain I wrote about yesterday was worse.  Still I tried to get up.  Mr H helped me get dressed.  It took me 45 minutes to accept I was not going to work.  Instead Mr H drove me to the hospital. I have written about the issues at work before.  Last March when I was in hospital for 2 days and off work a total of 6 days, I received a number of unsupportive messages, mainly how it was just “not good enough” and “inconvenient” to the business.  So the idea of telling them I

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Bloody Useless

This morning when I got up, I was so tired and in so much pain I cried.  Can you imagine that? You open your eyes and as soon as you move pain hits you. Chronic pain, the pain I have, is I think something very few people fully understand. Understanding Chronic Pain. “Have you taken some pain killers?” and “We all have back ache sometimes.” Yes, I have actually heard these sentences.  My mum is one of the worst offenders.  She resides deep in the “pull yourself together and get on with it” camp.  She has no idea how hard

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Chronic pain

Caudal Epidural

Today I had an appointment at the hospital to discuss the next plan for pain relief. For once we were in and out quickly, the consultant asked a couple of questions and then said he thinks a caudal epidural is the next thing to try as the pain is being transmitted down my legs in the sciatic nerves. Raising questions. It didn’t occur to me until we left but one of the questions he asked was about the MRI that they did in March and what the Drs said when I was hospitalised. “Did they offer you any surgical treatment?”

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