Writing about Love, Life, Marriage,

&

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(among other things........)

On Mental Health

How to stay positive when life sucks

I think it is fair to say for many people right now life kinda sucks. We are unable to enjoy the freedoms we did in order to ensure the NHS can cope with the number of people that are unwell, and to protect as many vulnerable people as possible. Covid 19 will, I think, be remembered the way we remember the black death and the Spanish Flu, and I for one hope that I do not lose and friends or family to it (touch wood). For me personally this couldn’t have come at a worse time, living in pain as

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Cane Me.

I have a few different ways of dealing with stress, I have a tendency to withdraw, to shut down, to become quiet. Add the isolation of our current situation and I think one of the reasons I havent written much recently is that I write about the things I do and find interesting, and let’s be honest, I spend all day laid in bed looking out of the window, with the same view. The only thing that settles my mind is knowing that Mr. H is here, and my regular impact sessions with the cane. Cane. At least once a

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Mental Recharge

Every now and then we all need to recharge our batteries. It may be that we have had a traumatic experience, suffered a heartbreak, a financial crisis or a particularly busy period at work. No matter what the cause every now and then we need to take time out to assess our own mental health and protect it. Surrendering. The hardest thing about looking after your mental health is realising when you’re heading for a crash and learning to surrender the fight BEFORE the you get caught in the event horizon of the black hole. Once you recognize the danger

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depression

Black Hole

What depression means to me. I posted yesterday that I’m not doing so well. I think that may be an understatement, but rather than prattle on about that, I thought instead I’d share instead what depression means to me because I believe that everyone experiences it differently. I believe depression is a black hole. Once it gets you in its grip it slowly strips parts of you away. Your sense of security. Your confidence. Your happiness. Your self worth. Your ability to feel joy. Your motivation. Your energy. All sucked slowly away until the black hole has taken everything you

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2am

2am

It’s 2am. I’m awake. Not good. Our eldest son who’s almost 25 recently told me he’s still struggling with depression and feelings of self harm. Although I’ve got him to the medical professionals I don’t know if he’s actually attended any of the follow up appointments, and he refuses medication. What has this got to do with me being awake? I came home from work today and assumed he was at work, and that he would be home around 11. It’s now 2am. He isn’t home. I’ve messaged him and he informs me he’s gone 50 miles away visiting friends

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anxiety

Separation Anxiety

Every few weeks MrH has to provide on call cover, and that week he has to work on the Saturday in the office. I hate that week. I miss him. I feel lost. I’m without focus and I get anxious. The level of separation anxiety I am experiencing is not particularly healthy, and when I’m anxious, I eat.  This anxiety is in direct contradiction to the general improvement I have felt in my mood, that I wrote about here. This week I decided to try and keep myself busy. I had a couple of strategies to help me, they were

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Serenity in submission 

I used to be quite an anxious person and although I do not mean to suggest I am ‘cured’ because I doubt very much that I ever will be, my anxiety has reduced. I believe this is due to the introduction of dominance and submission to my life.  When I am with Mr H, I am calm, he is in charge and this seems to be the key to keeping my anxiety under control. Letting go of the need to be in charge and micromanage everything to the nth degree has been liberating, and as such submission may just be

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