On Being a Submissive,On Kinky Fuckery

Gone too quick

I’ve often wondered why the weekends seem to fly by when the working week can seem never ending…. this weekend is set to be one of these weekends.  Filled with some crafting as well as some awesome kinky fuckery.

Yesterday we had to do some odd jobs at my aunts house so the morning was taken with that. The afternoon went quickly. I did some work on my quilt and some knitting. MrH worked on his chainmaille project.

Here it is, (I finished the top today) now I know that some of the corners are not perfect but it’s my first ever attempt and it’s big! I mean 15 squares by 19 squares…. it is for a king size bed (I’ve never been one to start small!!) 😂.

The next step is the back and batting and the actual quilting!! 😊 my hope is that this quilt will be used for after play. When I need to be kept warm, Mr H can get this off the chair and put it over me.

Anyway back to yesterday…

Last night followed our usual routines, then suddenly our son shouted, I’m off out see you later.

Mr H jumped up and watched him leave out of the bedroom window. Then he went to the cupboard to retrieve his tube with the impact equipment in.

I was taken by surprise. Mr H had told me he was going to get the cane out on Monday but he was tired and so he deferred it to Tuesday.

Tuesday he was tired again and so it didn’t happen. Wednesday too. By this point I had shut down and even when I heard our sons announcement, knowing Mr H was tired I refused to let my body or mind hope for play.

Even when he got the toys out, my body and mind were still closed.

I went for a quick wee (cos you know, you do before play!) but still my body and mind felt disconnected.

I came back into our room and he said, get comfortable on the bed. I started to arrange the pillows but still my body and mind were reluctant.

MrH challenged me “unless you don’t want to?”

I tried to tell him that wasn’t it. I did want to but I needed him to make me his. To snap me back.

Of course I have no idea what in actuality he could have done differently. What would have worked… but I think I needed some more verbal instructions… starting with:

“Let’s make the most of this alone time with some play.” Telling me what was about to happen.

Perhaps that would have allowed me to believe it was happening. Stopped me from trying to protect myself from disappointment by suppressing the excitement.

I got onto the bed and he began. He used the floggers and the cane. I had to yellow a few times with the cane as the floggers had made me sensitive. I think I held my breath mostly. Trying to relax into it trying to let go, failing miserably.

MrH had me roll over and he turned his attention to my pussy. My mind and body still resisted. I felt like a failure. I couldn’t give over myself to him. My brain would not give in.

He moved to my head and put his cock in my mouth. I tasted him, the pre-cum, the evidence of him enjoyment and my brain purred like a happy cat…. everything clicked into place.

I finally relaxed. I quickly orgasmed, followed by 2 or 3 more (I wasn’t counting) before MrH moved himself between my legs and thrust into my pussy to cum.

He talked to me, during this part of play, things like “you like that don’t you?” Making me respond that I did. Which flushes me with shame, which in turn pushes me further into the play, into my submission.

What started off quite challenging ended really well.

I drifted into subspace and the combination of impact play and sexual play left me shaking afterwards so MrH and I will be watching for drop over the next few days. And there will be lots of snuggles and a few sugary drinks.

This morning we talked about the play and how we had felt with it.

This coming week we have booked time off work, well we have this coming Friday and the following Monday off, for a long weekend. We are away Friday night to the Ibis hotel and then we had a sudden invite last week to a friend’s birthday party next Saturday, so we have booked into an Ibis hotel near the venue for the Saturday night too. I’m looking forward to both nights away for different reasons of course… but the opportunity to get dressed up will be nice, and as I’m having my hair done on Saturday I’ll be feeling better too!

We are also heading to visit Lady Chamiox on Monday and then to the Munch at the Townhouse on Tuesday.

It will be a busy week!!! 😊

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  


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  1. You’re definitely not alone! It sucks when your brain isn’t synced in with the body, especially getting your brain to shut up with the “what ifs” and other insecurities. Anxiety is a heartless so-and-so sometimes! xD Really happy that it all worked out for you! 🙂 x

    1. Me too lol

  2. I love the quilt. It is a work of art.

  3. Long weekend are the best!

    Beautiful quilt. Is good sized one years ago when I was pregnant. It drapes across a couch in it living room.

    1. X

  4. Great work on your quilt…it is beautiful!!!

  5. And, I can definitely identify with the disconnect of trying to protect ones self from disappointment and then struggling to get in the right head space when opportunity suddenly presents itself. But, it sounds like MrH got you there! 🙂

    1. He did

  6. Beautiful quilt top! My mom has been buying some online that need repair and fixing them, then having a local lady do the quilting (via machine). My aunt pieces her tops together before having them quilted. I haven’t tried it myself (yet) but I have seen how much work goes into making one. You have done a fabulous job!

  7. Loving the patchwork.

  8. Here I am reading this on a Monday morning thinking the same thing. Hotel trip sounds fun, hope for some details ☺

    1. Lol I’m sure there will be a post lol

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