History is a great teacher, and when we went to the Munch on Tuesday night the drive there and back gave us an opportunity to talk. We chatted about everyday things on the way there but on the way home we began to talk more intimately. We had talked a lot during the evening about our past history and it brought up some very good memories.
Actually, before I go on, I need to go back. If you read my last post you’ll know that Mr H had worked some Domly magic on me, and as a result I didn’t sleep well. Every time I closed my eyes I saw vivid, arousing images, or scenes flash before me, leaving me restless and frustrated!
Remembering the good times.
At a munch there is always the opportunity to meet new people and this time we met a lady who was there for the first time. In fact we chatted to her for most of the evening. She is just starting to explore BDSM it was nice to be able to point her in the direction of resources we found useful, like The Safewords Club. The conversation covered our early days, our yes, maybe and hell no lists as well as how we had began our D/s journey. She shared some of her own history and as it was her first time at the club we tried to make her feel welcome. It’s an exciting time for her. She is eager to try new things so we cautioned her against rushing in head first. As she has no partner yet she is also vulnerable to predator Doms who will abuse their role and we talked about red flags. It was nice to be able to pay it forwards so to speak, and to share the things we were told when we started out. As I said earlier, history is a great teacher.
One of the things we are trying to do when we go to the club is test my abilities. Last month we needed to see that I could manage it and although I slept for almost 3 days afterwards I did manage it. This time we wanted to see if I could get to the play l rooms. Well, I walked up the stairs to the BDSM room and back downstairs again. I also sat on the sofa rather than staying in the wheelchair, and we managed to stay until ten pm. We had a brilliant time and we were both very pleased with the things we achieved.
When Mr H is driving is also not the best time to talk.
We set off home talking about the evening and how much fun we had. It had been nice to reminisce about those early days, the fun and passion. I decided to ask a question that I have wanted to ask for a while, but haven’t, well, because of embarrassment. I asked Mr H if he was able to tell when I climaxed. He answered that no, he often can’t and that he could do with some feedback. He broke off here and said he could also do without talking when he is driving in the dark through a city center, in the dark.
He told me I could talk once he was on the A580, and so I waited…..
Mr H reiterated that he would like more feedback, he will often ask me if he’s got a toy (like the wand) in the right place. When I don’t answer he assumes the toy is in the right place. I actually I prefer it not to be in one place, and I reached out to touch his arm to demonstrate. I like it to be more like a long narrow oval motion about two inches in length.
Mr H glanced at me briefly (he was driving so needed to keep his eyes on the road), “I think I may have to have you show me again,” he said. “Perhaps when we go to the hotel.”
I swallowed nervously. We had done this before, and when I have suggested this be repeated before Mr H has said there is no need as he had seen it. When I mentioned this he replied that given how much things had changed, with how I feel things, it seemed a good idea.
The search for an empty lay-by.
Our conversation continued to be flirty and a little dirty, for the life of me I can’t remember the details or how it happened, but I swear we were this close to me giving Mr H a blow job in a lay-by.
Unfortunately everyone we came to had a lorry parked in it. By the time we came to an empty one the moment had passed.
A whole lot of history
I do remember talking about the things I miss. Being touched all over my body, being held firm and given commands.
Mr H remarked that the way my body responded to him holding my neck the night before had been interesting so I told him some of the things that had kept me awake..
you’re fucking me and as you climax you say “you are mine”.
I like the possessiveness of the statement, that I belong to him. What I really want more than anything is to feel desired. I want to hear Mr H tell me he wants me, that I belong to him and he doesn’t want anyone else.
The thing is neither one of us is particularly good at talking during sex. Mr H is much better at it than me, he will say things when I am giving him oral, like “you like sucking my cock don’t you?” and “you’re my cock sucking whore”.
The most I’ve managed is, “does Sir like that?”
We need to try more things. Now we have got the pain a little more manageable, we have to experiment. We need to try all the things we have avoided, like rope, and verbal bondage. It may be that somethings don’t work out but we need to stop assuming they won’t and actually find out. We need to know for sure what the cost is, in terms of how long the recovery takes. I don’t want our past history to dictate our future, and that means we need to leave some of the past behind us and start a new chapter.
Mr H agreed that this made sense and I felt very hopeful that we may be on our way to living life more fully in the future.
Is that all?
No, I thought I would get to the juicy stuff in this post, but it hasn’t worked out that way, so I will leave you with a little titbit of what you can expect in the next post…..
This post is linked to the Monochromerotic #57. Click HERE to visit the page and see other erotic images and posts linked.