Monochromerotic,On Being Married and Relationships,On Everyday Life,On Mental Health,The Body Diaries,Wicked Wednesday

How to stay positive when life sucks

I think it is fair to say for many people right now life kinda sucks. We are unable to enjoy the freedoms we did in order to ensure the NHS can cope with the number of people that are unwell, and to protect as many vulnerable people as possible. Covid 19 will, I think, be remembered the way we remember the black death and the Spanish Flu, and I for one hope that I do not lose and friends or family to it (touch wood). For me personally this couldn’t have come at a worse time, living in pain as I am. The strain on the NHS means that orthopedic clinics are closed as they are considered not urgent, and so my treatments and appointments are being significantly delayed. My recent appointment was not as positive as we had hoped either, and we have asked for a second opinion which we have to wait until February 2021 to get. So, given all this, how on earth do I stay positive?

I don’t.

Sorry, to let you down there, but the simple fact is, I don’t. There are times when I am far from positive, in fact following my recent telephone conversation with the consultant, I was so low I was unable to write and I didn’t want to talk to people. In times of emotional distress I have learned that you don’t have to stay positive at all. You don’t have to pretend to be ok to make other people feel comfortable or better, and it is in my opinion healthier to allow yourself to feel and experience the distress at the time than bottle it up for later.

So when I need to, I allow myself to crash. I allow the emotions to run over me. I cry, and Mr. H holds me. I sew, too or crochet because this gives me a quiet task to do while I go through whatever emotion I feel at the time.

Let yourself be….

It has taken me a long time to learn to let go of the need to put on a brave face. The nervous breakdown I suffered in 2005 was a wake up call I guess, and afterwards I didn’t want to wear the masks I had previously been forced to wear.

After this recent set back, it took me about a week to start to feel my mood lifting and I can again say I feel positive but that doesn’t mean I will stay positive for long. And guess what? That’s ok.

Stay Positive.

So, I can hear you wondering why people ask me how I stay positive if in fact I don’t. Quite simply, I do not complain to everyone I meet about how my life sucks. I do not dwell on my own troubles. Truth be told, and this will come as a shock to some users of social media, most people do not care what is happening to you. They ask how are you out of politeness and if you reply with aches and pains or complaints, they listen politely and then tell the next person how you complained.

Instead when asked I will reply, “same as ever, but you just have to get on with it,” and close the conversation down. This could be considered by some as putting on a brave face, but the way I see it, I am stopping myself from repeating the same thing over and over, an act in itself that is depressing, to people who don’t really care or want to know.

I stay positive by occupying my time with things I enjoy doing, things I can and want to do – like craft projects. I stay in touch with online friends and have a small social circle I can chat to. But the most important thing is Mr. H. I stay positive because ultimately I know how lucky I am to have someone who loves and cares for me the way he does, and to be able to love him back is such a privilege. As long as I have him in my life I know I will always have something to smile about.

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  


I have linked this post to Wicked Wednesday #438, “Pink” and Tell Me About Photography, Monochromerotic #14. Click the respective links to visit their pages and find loads of other posts that are well worth a read.

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  1. I think you’ve captured how a lot of us are feeling through all of this. Many days, many, many days of being down and working through whatever our pain may be. I know all of us have had a hard time trying to stay positive, no matter what we have going on.

    Thank you for posting, and glad that you have Mr H to keep you moving along.
    My Naughty Ideas recently posted…Bar Games: 2.1My Profile

    1. Thank you. I hope you too have something that keeps you “sane” for want of a better word

  2. You do a wonderful job – IMO – of staying positive – I admire you greatly and just wish there was some way to bring your treatment forward.
    Fab image Sweet xx
    May More recently posted…The Spanking Zone ~ A short storyMy Profile

    1. Thank you, and me too. We are contemplating arranging for a private appointment for the second opinion, but unfortunately that will not necessarily speed things along…

  3. There have been so many things that could keep you down but I’m glad that you hold onto what keeps you stable and happy in MrH. Lovely picture BTW, enjoying the pink sparkle

    1. Thank you

  4. Beautiful images sweet and I particularly love the pink sparkling version! I am glad you are doing your positive and hope you get the answers you need for treatment.
    Littlegem recently posted…ReflectionMy Profile

    1. Thank you x

  5. I wish I could learn that lesson to not always have a mask on, because it must be so liberating to just allow your emotions. There’s always someone around me for who I keep my mask on. That said, I greatly admire you for your balance between allowing your emotions and still being positive. You are a remarkable woman, Sweet, and so damn talented with your crafts.
    Live this image of you. That looks like such a comfortable bra.
    Marie xox

    1. Thanks Marie, it really is!

  6. You are a really positive person sweet but what you are going through would challenge any one. I admire the way that you manage but don’t want you to feel you can be honest. If it helps to tell things as they are then it is little to do for us to listen in return. This is a lovely picture of you too. Missy x
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    1. Thank you Missy I appreciate that x

  7. Mister X is already a good reason for being positive. And I’m glad he supports you.

    1. Mr H is my rock, my biggest fan and I am lucky to have him ❤

  8. Stay strong even when you feel week. Lean on Mr H. That’s what he is there for. You are a team.
    Today is all we have.
    Seize the day sounds basic but it is all we have. The past is a memory tomorrow unknown. The only reality is now.
    Be here
    Find joy in the moment.
    I am suffering from chronic pain with the prospect of age only making it worse. Whatever the issue all we can do is take whatever control we can. Giving up control, submitting, is still a choice you control. I know My Kitten finds peace within her submission. From the sound of it you do too. Thank you for sharing.
    Blowing sunshine in a time of dark ignores reality. Stay real. Strength comes through sharing vulnerability and being transparent. Many hands not only make light work, but also help hold us up.
    Stay safe, be well.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience and for your reply and words of encouragement

  9. It is very important for me…

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