Musically Ranting,On Blogging

New Vision, New Look.

Welcome to the new website, A Submissive Wife. Until a few days ago I could be found at sweetgirls journal but, following a critical database error and the discovery that the site had not been backing up since 7th Feb I decided it was time to roll my sleeves up and get serious. With the help of another blogger, who managed to grab my content after 7th Feb as it was cached in her browser history, I have painstakingly rebuilt the last 3 months. The content from sweetgirls journal has been imported, and will be updated and checked over the next few weeks and now the redirection is active. Visitors to sweetgirls journal are brought here.

It was time for a change.

There is something to be said for a good domain name and sweetgirls journal was not. It was relevant to me and my name but not generating a lot of visits. I believe this is because the name does not make the website content clear. The new domain “asubmissivewife” should change this, after all I am ‘A Submissive Wife’. Mr H has told me a few times that if I am going to do this blog I should do it properly and in all fairness when I started the blog it was not well thought out.

Sweetgirls journal has served me well but with the recent issues it was a good time to revaluate. It was started on a whim and I have, when I look back, done a lot of things in order to fit in with the popular bloggers, this includes taking explicit images that made me very uncomfortable but brought me praise from people who have a lot of influence in the blogging community.

A Submissive Wife.

I have come to realise my actions were influenced by the desire to fit in and I ignored my feelings of unease. I have to go back to the reason I began writing, reconnect with myself and let my writing reflect the real me.

So, in growing up as it were, I will be leaving behind some things. I will not be trying to impress others, instead I will write about the things that matter to me. Things I know and care about.

  • How I feel about being a submissive wife.
  • My experiences as a submissive wife.
  • How I manage my mental health.
  • How my mental health affects our lives.
  • How my children’s mental health struggles have affected us.
  • How I am coming to terms with my physical disability.
  • How my disability has affected our lives.
  • And, many other things as they happen.

Our Actions define us.

It’s an odd thing to say right? For a writer I mean. But, that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Our actions define us. There are some who disagree of course. Part of our lives, especially now, are lived on virtual platforms like twitter or facebook, and this means people create their own vision of you. When we communicate in person, we have body language and tone to help us to interpret words, online this is absent. Unfortunately in these virtual societies, reality sometimes has no place. Misunderstandings are hard if not impossible to resolve, because the online society is focused on understanding and acceptance, but on accusation and indignation.

I did not grow up with these online groups and social places, I joined Facebook and left after I was fed up of seeing posts that were nothing more than self righteous narcissism, intimidation and bullying from grown adults, at other adults. It reminded me of my years in highschool where the self appointed popular girls would decide who was cool and who was to be bullied on a whim. To this day I believe I was targeted because I paid them no attention. I would not bully others with them, I would protect the people being bullied, I spoke my mind and didn’t back down. These power hungry kids used others to destroy anyone they perceived as a threat, spreading rumours, and encouraging from the sidelines. Seeing this type of behaviour perpetuated by adults on social media platforms saddens me immensely and I think we will never stop children from behaving this way to their peers when they see adults doing it with impunity.

Literary theory in practice.

I am a student of English Literature, and during my studies we discussed the ways in which a text can be interpreted and examined. Roland Barthes, a French theorist wrote ‘A Death of the Author” in 1967 in which he posits that it is the reader who assigns meaning to a piece of writing and not the author because it is the experiences of the reader that allow them to form their opinion and interpretation of the text. As such, once a piece of writing is completed the meaning that the author intended is of no relevance at all. From that point onwards the reader will interpret the text based on their own prejudices, experiences and bais. Barthes theory explains why ten people can have ten different interpretations of the same text, and not one of them could match the interpretation of the author.

In the mind of the beholder.

Barthes theory is one that I believe to be extremely valid and is why, in my opinion, as the reader you should not assign one meaning to any given text. In reading a piece of work we all form our own impression, our own meaning, and that meaning is as individual as we are. Taking our interpretation and telling people that is the only interpretation rejects Barthes theory, and in doing so, one could argue that only the authors meaning is valid. This would mean we have to interrogate the author to understand the reason behind a text, and we would have to take their answers as truth. I believe that the reason literature has such power is that it can be interpreted in many different ways, but I also think it is why literature can also be abused, if one person imposes their interpretation of a text on others.

Exploring the Kinky side of life.

So, with that thought, I hope you read my posts and I hope that you enjoy them. As I rebuild and re categorise the posts on A Submissive Wife, you will be able to filter by category, for the time being using the search button and typing a key word will be most helpful. There will be a gallery soon, but at the moment I am focused on checking the imported posts, for errors and relevance.

I’m Not Crazy

Jae Lynn has a new meme ‘Musically Ranting‘ and I have decided to link this post to it. The prompt is taken from Fleetwood Mac’s song Go Your Own Way, which celebrated the differences in each group member. Jae has asked that people share a song which is different and tells a little something about you. So my choice is by Matchbook Twenty, and it’s called Unwell. It always made sense to me with regards to my battle with depression. You can click HERE to see the other posts linked to the new meme.

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  


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  1. I love every bit of this! Your site looks great too
    The part about how people can read the same thing yet all have a different viewpoints is spot on.

    The song, well I got a little teary-eyed. My dad has always been a musical influence in my life. He would sing that song whenever he called to check up on me. It is perfect for this post, “but stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see a different side of me”.

    I can’t wait to see what else you have in store! Thank you very much for the mention and linking in.

    1. Thank you for the comment Jae, I was excited to see your meme and have so many songs that I love I know it will be a prompt I join in with often!

      Take care

      Sweet x

  2. You should always write for yourself and not others. I love the new look and the name. I get a lot of traffic with the words ‘submissive wife’ and ‘slave wife’ so you may well be right. Good luck with the new domain.

    1. Thank you Julie, I hope you are well? The old site rarely got traffic from google searches, so I am hoping this will improve things.

      Take care

      Sweet x

  3. I wasn’t aware you had moved until I read the post just now of you moving lower in the bed and using your mouth on Mr H. Then I thought how many Mr H’s can there be in blog land?? Good luck with this new venture. It looks great.

    1. Lol… I had jetpack move the subscribers for me. The old site crashed and wasn’t backing up properly. And I decided there were far too many errors that meant it was easier to just restart. The old site address has been forwarded here.

      Thank you for saying it looks nice

  4. Your new site looks amazing!
    I agree with what you said about writing for yourself. It’s easy to be lured into writing what you think others would like, but what the world needs most is our individual, unique voices. I hope the new URL will serve you well

    1. Thank you

      Now I just have to review the 700 posts that I imported from the old site, correcting internal links and spelling mistakes!!! So many of the early posts were typed on a mobile phone there are autocorrect errors all over

      At least it will give me something to do!

  5. Well, isn’t this spiffy! Nice new look, I am impressed.

    1. Thank you I hope you enjoy the gallery too!

  6. Damn Girl….you should do this as a side gig. This is beautiful. And yes I agree about the site & domain name, I’ve been rethinking my site too. My web hosting expires in December and I was thinking about tossing in the towel. However, I did discuss something about reinventing myself or creating a new site similar to yours. New name etc. I have a few titles in mind, just not sure yet.
    Seriously though, you should do a little side gig with web design cause you’re very good at it.

    1. Awww thank you I do like playing about with web design lol but I’m not sure I’m good enough do it for others!


  7. You are such a powerhouse – this is looking fab.
    I don’t know your song choice but will pop over and check it out.
    As to writing for yourself – that is an absolute must.
    Your space
    your words
    your choice

    Take care Sweet

    1. Thank you

  8. Posy Churchgate says:

    Love the new look Sweet. So glad you’re managing to rescue majority of your posts. I too am gout back over old stuff- my early writing was rather florid!
    I’m impressed with your literary background and your well balanced argument about reader interpretation was so relatable.
    I think I need to trim out some images that were “people pleasers” too!!
    Good luck in your new home!!

    1. thank you…. I’ve removed 98 posts so far for being, well rubbish LOL

      Have fun going through you blog 🙂

  9. The brilliance of this post has left me gasping for air. In a good way, I hasten to add.

    It’s not every day that Roland Barthes pops up, so many thanks for discussing his theory. I remember my friend joined the university poetry society and he had to read a poem of his to them. In the discussion afterwards they all had a different interpretation of his poem and not one of them agreed with what he thought it was about.

    I wish you well with your new look blog. You have put in an incredible amount of work. Your endeavours have been well rewarded -the blog is absolutely splendid. It’s great to see you moving forward to those ‘broad sunlit uplands’ and I will be cheering you on.

    1. Thank you so very much Pons, you have brought a tear to my eye there and if I may say your timing is impeccable, as I have spent the last few days wondering if I should continue. Your words, so kind, have reminded me that I write because I want to, for those who wish to read it and no other reason.

      Stay safe,

      Sweet x

  10. Thank you Sweet, Your reply has touched me too.

  11. I also learned about the literary theory you’re talking about and I agree about what you’re saying about texts and not assigning one meaning. I think the fluidity of texts in that way, or the different meanings people can find in it is very valuable.

    I like your rebranding. I do think your new name is more apt and as I said before, I love the new layout!

    1. Thank you

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