Welcome to the new website, A Submissive Wife. Until a few days ago I could be found at sweetgirls journal but, following a critical database error and the discovery that the site had not been backing up since 7th Feb I decided it was time to roll my sleeves up and get serious. With the help of another blogger, who managed to grab my content after 7th Feb as it was cached in her browser history, I have painstakingly rebuilt the last 3 months. The content from sweetgirls journal has been imported, and will be updated and checked over the next few weeks and now the redirection is active. Visitors to sweetgirls journal are brought here.
It was time for a change.
There is something to be said for a good domain name and sweetgirls journal was not. It was relevant to me and my name but not generating a lot of visits. I believe this is because the name does not make the website content clear. The new domain “asubmissivewife” should change this, after all I am ‘A Submissive Wife’. Mr H has told me a few times that if I am going to do this blog I should do it properly and in all fairness when I started the blog it was not well thought out.
Sweetgirls journal has served me well but with the recent issues it was a good time to revaluate. It was started on a whim and I have, when I look back, done a lot of things in order to fit in with the popular bloggers, this includes taking explicit images that made me very uncomfortable but brought me praise from people who have a lot of influence in the blogging community.
A Submissive Wife.
I have come to realise my actions were influenced by the desire to fit in and I ignored my feelings of unease. I have to go back to the reason I began writing, reconnect with myself and let my writing reflect the real me.
So, in growing up as it were, I will be leaving behind some things. I will not be trying to impress others, instead I will write about the things that matter to me. Things I know and care about.
- How I feel about being a submissive wife.
- My experiences as a submissive wife.
- How I manage my mental health.
- How my mental health affects our lives.
- How my children’s mental health struggles have affected us.
- How I am coming to terms with my physical disability.
- How my disability has affected our lives.
- And, many other things as they happen.
Our Actions define us.
It’s an odd thing to say right? For a writer I mean. But, that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Our actions define us. There are some who disagree of course. Part of our lives, especially now, are lived on virtual platforms like twitter or facebook, and this means people create their own vision of you. When we communicate in person, we have body language and tone to help us to interpret words, online this is absent. Unfortunately in these virtual societies, reality sometimes has no place. Misunderstandings are hard if not impossible to resolve, because the online society is focused on understanding and acceptance, but on accusation and indignation.
I did not grow up with these online groups and social places, I joined Facebook and left after I was fed up of seeing posts that were nothing more than self righteous narcissism, intimidation and bullying from grown adults, at other adults. It reminded me of my years in highschool where the self appointed popular girls would decide who was cool and who was to be bullied on a whim. To this day I believe I was targeted because I paid them no attention. I would not bully others with them, I would protect the people being bullied, I spoke my mind and didn’t back down. These power hungry kids used others to destroy anyone they perceived as a threat, spreading rumours, and encouraging from the sidelines. Seeing this type of behaviour perpetuated by adults on social media platforms saddens me immensely and I think we will never stop children from behaving this way to their peers when they see adults doing it with impunity.
Literary theory in practice.
I am a student of English Literature, and during my studies we discussed the ways in which a text can be interpreted and examined. Roland Barthes, a French theorist wrote ‘A Death of the Author” in 1967 in which he posits that it is the reader who assigns meaning to a piece of writing and not the author because it is the experiences of the reader that allow them to form their opinion and interpretation of the text. As such, once a piece of writing is completed the meaning that the author intended is of no relevance at all. From that point onwards the reader will interpret the text based on their own prejudices, experiences and bais. Barthes theory explains why ten people can have ten different interpretations of the same text, and not one of them could match the interpretation of the author.
In the mind of the beholder.
Barthes theory is one that I believe to be extremely valid and is why, in my opinion, as the reader you should not assign one meaning to any given text. In reading a piece of work we all form our own impression, our own meaning, and that meaning is as individual as we are. Taking our interpretation and telling people that is the only interpretation rejects Barthes theory, and in doing so, one could argue that only the authors meaning is valid. This would mean we have to interrogate the author to understand the reason behind a text, and we would have to take their answers as truth. I believe that the reason literature has such power is that it can be interpreted in many different ways, but I also think it is why literature can also be abused, if one person imposes their interpretation of a text on others.
Exploring the Kinky side of life.
So, with that thought, I hope you read my posts and I hope that you enjoy them. As I rebuild and re categorise the posts on A Submissive Wife, you will be able to filter by category, for the time being using the search button and typing a key word will be most helpful. There will be a gallery soon, but at the moment I am focused on checking the imported posts, for errors and relevance.
I’m Not Crazy
Jae Lynn has a new meme ‘Musically Ranting‘ and I have decided to link this post to it. The prompt is taken from Fleetwood Mac’s song Go Your Own Way, which celebrated the differences in each group member. Jae has asked that people share a song which is different and tells a little something about you. So my choice is by Matchbook Twenty, and it’s called Unwell. It always made sense to me with regards to my battle with depression. You can click HERE to see the other posts linked to the new meme.