Writing about Love, Life, Marriage,


Kinky Fuckery!

(among other things........)

The relationship between libido and desire.

In my opinion libido is a delicate thing, which can be influenced by many different things. For example, medication, particularly antidepressants, can reduce libido, menopause (both male and female) and depression can cause the loss of libido. Libido is defined as sexual desire by the Oxford Dictionary, and so another way to describe it would be loss of desire. I have written recently about my own reduced libido and difficulty reaching orgasm, which I have concluded to be from the medication I was taking at the time. This is supported by the return of libido and orgasm once the medication was stopped. I have also noted in the past that when we do not have sex in a while my libido reduces, whereas the more we have the more I want. It is this correlation that I find most interesting. It is as if libido like a muscle needs regular training to be strong.

Can you influence your libido?

The more passionate our relationship is, the more I am touched, kissed and stroked outside of a sexual setting the more my libido wakes up and becomes active. I mean the little things, stroking or tapping my bottom as he walks past, or grabbing my hand to told it. These small gestures show me I am valued and wanted, which in turn helps me feel desirable. Kisses are the magic buttons that tip the scales. So many different types and each one creates different feelings within me but when intimate touches and kisses are exchanged, the resulting desire acts to increase libido.

Kisses of fire.

Kissing is the one thing generally guaranteed to ignite passion and keep my libido on a fast boil. Each day at the end of our collar exchange (so morning and night) Sir will pull be back against his body so my back is against his chest and kiss the side of my face, or on days when I can, I turn my head sideways and we kiss on the lips. These kisses feel like a thank you, for giving him my submission.

At night before we settle down to sleep, Mr H and I kiss goodnight. This kiss is the familiar gentle kiss of people who have known each other for a while, and are comfortable together. This is the kiss that settles and reassures, for when he does it, I feel like he will be content to kiss me goodnight for the rest of our lives.

But, the kisses where he pins me against a wall, and trails kisses down my neck. When he pushes his leg between mine to gain access to my core, pushing his thigh against me. Those kisses, nibbling and grazing the sensitive skin of my jaw line, before crushing my lips with his; his tongue plundering the depths of my mouth until my knees buckle, my hearts pounding and my breathing erratic. These kisses ignite my libido, and passion.

Starving the libido.

I have written before about the things that reduce my libido and rather than repeat it I would urge you to read THIS POST instead.

So passion, and demonstrative moments of affection are things that feed my libido, and lack of them starve it. When the libido is low, passion and desire also wane, not unlike two sides of the same coin, however, passion has the advantage of being the one thing that can affect libido. When your libido is low, it is possible for a passionate act to boost it, it will just take a bit longer. A lift in libido on the other hand, might make you more receptive to passion and desire, but I don’t believe it can create passion.

For me, when my libido was low, kisses and sex were still enjoyable, I just didn’t crave them. Once the meds were removed from my system, my desire to be touched and kissed returned, and my ability to respond to passion was back to normal speed. Once again I am aware of Mr H when he is near me, my body reacts to his, I tingle and get wet. I am more easily aroused and although orgasm is still not as quickly achieved during sex as it is through masturbation, it is nonetheless achievable, and satisfying.

Now I am feeling more like myself, and we are having regular sexual play, my libido has returned to normal. I beg and plead to be allowed to touch and pleasure Mr H. He delights in managing my pleading so that by Sunday’s I am eager for him to give me release.

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  


This post was inspired by Food 4 Thought, ‘Libido’ unfortunately I missed the deadline to link up, but I urge you to click HERE to see more posts inspired by the topic.

6 thoughts on “The relationship between libido and desire.”

  1. Kissing is something that always seems to get lost. A touch can be done while passing your partner but a kiss takes a little bit of effort. A moment to stop everything else for just a few seconds. Maybe that’s why they work so well ;-). Thanks for reminding me.

  2. You have such a glorious relationship and I am so happy u enjoy all the pleasure you get from each other – Kissing – simple – old fashioned – packs punches xx

  3. Your relationship is so sweet to read about. It’s so endearing to read about how he pulls you against him and kisses you like that. And then the kisses where he pins you against a wall is so fun and exciting, hehe! I get why that ignites your libido

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