On Being a Submissive

What turns him on?

I asked Mr H a few nights ago to tell me more about what turns him on. I am quite curious to know, and Mr H struggles to articulate these things. Normally when I ask him these questions he responds with “You do,” or “I don’t know what you want me to say,” so I gave him a few days to think about it.

What turns him on revealed.

This gone Wednesday night, when MrH climbed into bed, he began by saying, “So, you want to know what turns me on?” I pretended my hand was a note pad and I had a pen in the other, ready to take notes. “You do,” he said.

I rolled my eyes, and waited. I said nothing. “You wanted more than that didnt you?” I said nothing, I just nodded, waiting.

“Your bum. I love your bum. The picture I have on my Twitter, thats still my favorite picture.”

Naturally this made me smile a little. I mean of course it’s nice that my bottom turns him on!

“What other things turn you on?” I asked.

“I like giving you oral – which I think you are aware of,” he grinned and wriggled his eyebrows at me as he answered.

I smiled back and said, “yes I am aware. What else?”

“I don’t know. I mean I am not sure what you want.”

“Well, does it turn you on to think about me masturbating?” I asked.

“Yes, of course it does,” he answered, “sometimes I masturbate in the bath when I know you are doing it.”

“You do?” I asked, grinning. My pussy got wet at the thought of him masturbating while he was thinking of me masturbating. I find it very hot when he touches himself. I mean it teases me too, because I desperately want his cock, his cum. I want him to fuck me every way possible. I want him to make me his, to possess me, claim me, own me. But I digress. “That turns me on,” I whispered.

“What’s your favourite position?” I asked.

“Doggy.” Another grin.

“That’s strange,” I said, “because it’s not the one we do most.”

“What is your favourite position for oral, giving?” I asked.

“You sitting on my face, I can relax and do what I want to without getting a creak in my neck.” He replied.

“Why don’t you make me do that then?” I asked puzzled.

“I worry J will knock on the door and come in.”

“What about receiving?” I asked.

He thought for a while and then said, “stood up with you kneeling the other day was very nice.”

We talked some more, about what he struggles with, which is mainly the lack of privacy. He explained he can’t get out of his head. He constantly worries that J will hear us; that he will come in. That worry ruins it. He said that he wishes we could go to more hotels maybe that would mean he could relax more.

We talked more about anal play and he said that for him it isn’t so much that he doesn’t like it, its more that he really doesn’t want to see any poop. He said that, for example, if he removed a toy and it had poop on it, then the play would be over, so for him anal play is limited to hotel stays, or planned play even he can instruct me to prepare. I did explain that the preparation doesn’t mean that would never happen, and he said that he understands that.

Lots to think about.

It was a very interesting chat, and I learned a lot of things. I do hope that in time we get to explore all the things we talked about. I know Mr H wants to play more, but the constant worry about J hearing us having sex, hearing him walking around, or the worry that he may want to come into our room does put a barrier to free play. He admits it’s a mental barrier, and that he is the only one able to work past it.

The things he wants to do more of are: rope, wax, flogging, although the latter is restricted to hotel stays until we have space for wall restraints or a cross.

I don’t worry the same way about these things. I heard my parents having sex. I would put my headphones in and play music. It’s normal and I think natural for them to become aware that their parents are sexual beings too. J is not a child anymore he’s a young man.

But in this instance my headspace isn’t the issue, and Mr H is not likely to change his.

What we can look forward to is our hotel stay in September at our favourite hotel, followed by a night at the end of September, and in October for my birthday and November (just because).

I think I have learned a little more about Mr H and what turns him on and that makes me very happy.

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  


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  1. Sounds like a breakthrough to me. I remember you saying before that MrH doesn’t vocalize what goes on in his head as much as you would like, and now he has. That has to feel great!

  2. It sounds like you had a great talk! And, now you have an even better understanding of how to make sure his needs are met 🙂

  3. I think it’s so good to have these kind of talks with each other! More couples should do it, and I think over here we need to have a talk like that too 🙂

    Rebel xox

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