I have mentioned before how I have a mental block when it comes to asking Mr H questions regarding sex, whether it is something I would like to do, or asking Mr H to change what he is doing. I still fear that rejection and ultimately don’t feel my needs and wants are important enough. Yesterday’s play had felt particularly nice, and so I wanted to know if Mr H had done something differently. But, today I asked a question. It took me the best part of an hour to actually ask it, but I did.
Did you do anything different yesterday?
Seems simple enough right? Well not for me. Sunday night MrH had caned me, then he played with me. He got the Doxy out and that’s always good, but Sunday, something felt different, more intense, even nicer. I enjoyed it without analysing it at the time, but afterwards my curiosity got the better of me.
So, Monday night I snuggled, and I practiced asking in my head. Everytime I thought, yep I can do it, I chickened out. Eventually, after about an hour of stroking MrH’s arm, I managed to say it. He chuckled softly, and asked me why I wanted to know.
I cringed inside. Of course he couldn’t just answer, no, he wanted more information, making me squirm.
It felt different
Different good or bad he wanted to know. At this point I was really wondering if I should have asked at all. Did I need to know that badly. I decided I did. It felt good I told him.
He seemed to consider for a moment. “I don’t think I did,” he said. Mr H asked me if there was a particular point I was referring to. I told him that it was what he was doing with the Doxy. This seemed to jog his memory. “I was cupping it at one point, with my fingers inside you.”
Mr H has definitely made a mental note of this. He did praise me for asking though, and said I might deserve a treat. This evening when I got home from work, I asked him if I deserved a treat? He said yes, and asked me what I wanted. Well, honestly, making me tell him!!! My mind whirled. So many different ideas, what to choose…..
Anal, double penetration, a face fuck, a rough bent over the bed fuck…
The possibilities whirled….
And then, how was I going to ask.. I rejected the first two, no way I could ask for them.. MrH asked me why I was struggling to choose. Then he realised it was that I was struggling to ask. He told me I could write it down, but I declined. I decided to give MrH two choices and allow him to pick.
So I will find out later if I am going to be treated to a face fuck or a bent over the bed fuck…
To find out what my treat was, click here.….