Do you want to…

As we lay in bed this morning MrH asked me “do you want to touch my cock?” He asks, but honestly I don’t think I’ve ever said no even before D/s. He could have said “touch my cock” but he always seems to pose the question, giving me a choice- or maybe he gets a thrill from my saying yes.

I rolled to him and starting with one hand stroked the length of him. Still semi erect from waking up I brought both hands together, using them to grip all around the shaft. I can’t quite get my hand around him when he’s hard without squeezing hard.

He told me it felt nice and asked me if I could feel him getting harder. Telling me that was because he was liking it.

I felt myself getting wet as I touched him and he talked to me.

He told me to use my mouth, and I moved from my side to kneel at his side. I teased the tip of his cock, wetting him so I could take him into my mouth more easily. It’s been a while and my jaw felt stiff as I tried to open wide enough to make sure I didn’t graze him with my teeth (he doesn’t like that). As I eased him further in I heard him moan and he again told me how nice it felt.

I felt his hand moved down my back and over my arse to reach between my legs.

“How wet are you?!” He exclaimed. I was, I knew I was. We hadn’t played since the 24th March as my pinched nerve symptoms started the following day. I know he only has to look at me, never mind kiss me and I’m wet. So letting me touch him, pleasure him and I was definitely highly aroused.

Maybe you’ll be able to understand this next bit, maybe you won’t, because as aroused as I was and as much as I wanted him to cum, at that moment, in that moment I wasn’t feeling any desire for an orgasm myself. I wanted him.

When he said that he wanted to be inside my pussy I moved willingly, putting myself on my hands and knees before him.

I felt him enter me, he was not kneeling behind me, rather he stood on the bed behind me somehow holding himself so he entered deeply without any of his body weight falling onto me. It felt so amazing so good to have him inside me, to feel him move and tell me how good it felt. He came and we lay together afterwards.

I felt euphoric, uplifted, relieved and content.

MrH is cautious and has avoided play for fear of causing the disc to bulge further onto the nerve, pinching it again.

But I need the sexual contact to fully maintain my mind set and my mental equilibrium. There’s been more than one emotional outburst, more than one tantrum, more than one snappy comment. I think he’s known the cause most of the time and he’s managed me well.

As always this development requires adjustments and monitoring. I will have to assess the suitability of body positions given the new limitations as positions I was comfortable in 4 weeks ago can now be excruciating. I have a responsibility to communicate with him if I am not comfortable or I am breaking trust with him.

I really wasn’t happy that I needed to make such a big change in position to use my mouth on him but twisting upwards from where I was would have been a bad choice for my back. So I moved.

I can’t lay flat at the moment, I have a body pillow under my knees to take the pressure off my lumbar spine. That’s going to make things awkward but again I know MrH will find ways to improvise, adapt and overcome…

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  1. Having that sexual connection can really help, especially if it’s been a while. And I understand the not wanting on orgasm for yourself part more as our dynamic develops.

  2. He’s obviously highly aware of your physical needs, which is good. And yes, I can understand not wanting or needing to come…focusing only on his pleasure, needing him to feel it and show it. I find it comforting and satisfying just to know he’s felt pleasure.

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