22 January 2019, update.

It’s now been a month since I stopped taking tramadol and I think I’m finally done with the side effects. I’ve not had a brain zap in a while and my mood has lifted. I’m able to concentrate [as well as I ever did anyway 😂] and I’m sleeping better. Works going well too and my girls are picking up the new things brilliantly. That’s not to say January hasn’t thrown us a few curve balls…. MrH’s motorbike had needed a new exhaust 😡. If …

I want …. more of that

Our boy went out. “Are you going to go and get shaved?” MrH asked. This was something we had talked about on Thursday. How a routine can become so set that it places road blocks to fun. What do I mean? Well, it has become normal that every night at 7pm, I go and get ready for bed. I shave as MrH likes, and I have a quick bath, shower or wash. I run a bath for MrH and I get into bed. MrH has …

What do you want?

Thursday night there is a chat on The SafeworD/s Club and I try to join in each week. Over the last few months they he started at about half past 8 and as we have supper at 9 I get to join in for half an hour or so (until MrH says it’s supper time) basically. Last night I settled into bed and it was just after 8 so I passed some time looking at quilting how to videos (I’m thinking of making a patchwork …

Tonight….

“Tonight, we’ll see what we can do about you” MrH knew I’d been feeling a bit low. The tramadol works in similar ways to an antidepressant so when you stop taking it you can experience depression, disassociation and other fun things. As I live with depression and take medication to stabilise that the tramadol has essentially been putting me on a higher dose of “happy pills”. Having said that I’ve not been running around laughing manically lol 😂 Now, so far (so good) I’ve not …

24th December 2018

The nausea continues. Restlessness too. MrH is at work for a few hours. And I miss him. I’m watching mindless TV and staying hydrated. Nibbling on rich tea biscuits. MrH gave me some lashes with the cane last night just to help me relax. It did. It still took me a while to fall asleep but I felt really good. Some of the brain fog is clearing. If the nausea would just bugger off I’d feel like I’m getting somewhere.

23rd December 2018

I’m determined to finish my advent post challenge – but I imagine the next three (this included) will be my worst ever posts! I have now missed 3 Doses of tramadol. By lunch time yesterday I was feeling the effects. Nausea. Brain Zaps My body feels heavy, achy. My sinus are congested. My head aches. Essentially like a bad cold. I slept a little yesterday afternoon. I struggled to get comfortable to sleep last night but did eventually fall asleep. MrH has gone in search …

21st December 2018

We finished work at half past 12. We got a little Christmas gift from the directors too, which is nice. I bought a new battery for my motorbike, and then went to pick up MrH. Then followed 2 hours of pure horror as we shopped for food in a supermarket and bought a cat litter. The people driving were impatient and rude. The people in the supermarket were focused on their own shopping, oblivious to those around them. We finally got home and had an …

8th December 2018

Today’s the day our rules are reset. Today’s the day our dynamic gets back on track properly. Let me explain….. MrH emailed me yesterday (text below) with his thoughts on how we can achieve this, which we then discussed last night. As you know my love I have been thinking about where we are at and where we are going and would like your thoughts on the below. Rules 1. Matching underwear to be worn Mon to Thurs 2. Friday is no pantie day 3. …

5th December 2018

A new blogging couple Purplesole and LittleGem wrote a post where for a short time he allowed LittleGem to top him. The experiment showed Purplesole how aftercare was extremely important, and this got me thinking…… Have MrH and I ever discussed aftercare? Well yes we have, but perhaps not in the necessary detail. I have never told him what I need. And then I thought, why haven’t I? Maybe the same reason I tend not to share my needs, wants, fantasies and desires… I don’t …