The topic for Food for thought Friday this week is Love… and as this is something close to my heart ❣ I decided to take part so here goes…….
What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?
I think you could ask 10,000 people this question and they would all have a different answer. Some of it depends on the type of love you choose to define. By that I mean romantic, familial or platonic. I believe they are all linked by the simple fact that if you care for a person you may describe it as love.
I love my children. Unconditionally, unreservedly. But at times they annoy the hell out of me. At times I have not liked them very much, especially at 3am after 3 days of no sleep [familial].
I also have friends who I care about deeply but I wouldn’t want to have sex with them [platonic].
Then I have MrH. It’s not easily explained but I love him and I am in love with him. I love MrH unconditionally, unreservedly, and passionately. The feelings I have for him are romantic and familial and platonic. He’s my best friend. He’s the first one I want to call when something good happens to me. He’s the first one I want to speak to when I am sad. He comforts me. He strengthens me. He supports me. His voice can soothe and excite me. His touch can calm me, make me feel safe and make me weak at the same time. I crave his touch and his kisses. I need him. He’s my whole world. Without him I feel bereft.
How does these differences colour and effect the way you interact with that person?
I’m not entirely sure what you mean by this. MrH gets all of me. He gets the friend and lover because he is the one I love and am in live with. If I wasn’t in love with him I wouldn’t feel the passion.
Where sex is involved, does the emotional layer effect its quality?
It’s been a long time since I had sex with someone I didn’t love (I mean I have been with MrH since 1995) and I was single for 18 months prior to that. Looking back as much as I thought I loved my first husband, I didn’t. I was in love with the idea of love.
MrH is the only man to bring me to climax. I was 19 or 20 before I experienced an orgasm, which was when I masturbated for the first time, but we had probably been together for several years before I had an orgasm during sex. This was because I wasn’t open in telling him what I needed and so I take full responsibility for that.
Where do lust and desire fit into this?
I think lust and desire are initially driven by hormones. It’s these emotions that enable us to be open to a personal connection, which in turn allows us to fall in love.
If we’re lucky we get to form a connection with someone that combines emotional love with physical desire and friendship. When you get that magical trifecta anything is possible.
For more posts for Food4Thought #82 ‘Obsessive Madness’ click the image above.
Great answers. I think you are right, everyones definition of love and being in love is different. I was also in love with being in love the first time around. xx
That “In love with the idea of love” certainly resonates. There is also the situation where “love” slowly changes into “comfortable routine”, where a couple can almost become friend’s with benefits who share a home.
I’m not especially spiritual, and I think there is always a danger when trying to apply a word from the dictionary to a particular feeling or emotion, because emotions can vary whereas the dictionary definition remains unchanged, but I think the state of “Loving” is a connection at the level of the soul and not just of the physical and mental companionship such a relationship provides.