Merry Christmas! MrH and I are looking forward to a nice relaxing day. I hope you all have a wonderful day too.
24th December 2018
The nausea continues. Restlessness too. MrH is at work for a few hours. And I miss him. I’m watching mindless TV and staying hydrated. Nibbling on rich tea biscuits. MrH gave me some lashes with the cane last night just to help me relax. It did. It still took me a while to fall asleep but I felt really good. Some of the brain fog is clearing. If the nausea would just bugger off I’d feel like I’m getting somewhere.
23rd December 2018
I’m determined to finish my advent post challenge – but I imagine the next three (this included) will be my worst ever posts! I have now missed 3 Doses of tramadol. By lunch time yesterday I was feeling the effects. Nausea. Brain Zaps My body feels heavy, achy. My sinus are congested. My head aches. Essentially like a bad cold. I slept a little yesterday afternoon. I struggled to get comfortable to sleep last night but did eventually fall asleep. MrH has gone in search …
4th December 2018
“Let’s do your collar” MrH said as the episode of Strike Back ended. I got up and stood at the foot of the bed, and lifted my ponytail out of the way. He changed my collars and put is arms around me. “Who’s are you?” He asked. “I am yours.” “Who’s my girl?” “I am.” “Who’s going to get my cum later?” My heart stuttered. My breath caught. “Me?” It came out as a question. “Yes you” he whispered. I went to the bathroom, you …
My love, my life…. always
We had a wonderful time at the hotel. MrH blindfolded me and kissed me. He led me to the bed and had me shuffle back. I felt myself move over the waterproof mat so he’d put that over the bed. He passed me the Doxy. “Masturbate for me,” he said. I hesitated, not because of fear, or embarrassment, but because I didn’t know how to turn it on. I told him so. He put my fingers on the buttons and I spent a few moments …
Bridging the gap
Yesterday I had a melt down. We hit what’s probably been the biggest wall in our D/s journey. Relatively speaking the first 16 months of our D/s have moved along without much difficulty (after the initial adjustment and frenzy passed). I’ve had a couple of “ahhh” (or lightbulb 💡 moments) along the way, the major one being when I read MrH post A New Dom’s Tale. Before I read this one of my biggest worries was that MrH was simply humouring me. There’s a saying …
My Sir
Things have been strange recently. I think D/s has become our normal/default setting and so in many ways the sparkly new shine it once had has gone. I don’t mean to suggest that I’m not content because I am – very much so. I still feel calmer and more settled than before. I am still consumed by desire and need for Sir. Our communication is still better than ever and I am getting better at asking for things. There is of course room for improvement, …
Journal entry 24th October 2018
They cancelled my hospital admission. I was supposed to be having the second procedure done in my spine on Monday… by today I would have been feeling better… by Friday I would have been, dare I say, finally pain free. At least my back wouldn’t be hurting. Instead I am waiting for them to call me with a new admission date. Yesterday MrH told our son he had been looking forward to taking me to the cinema when my back was not painful. I wanted …
A dirty word?
Monogamy as defined by the Collins Dictionary is the state or custom of having a sexual relationship with only one partner When I first asked MrH to consider adding BDSM into our relationship and we began the discussions outside play wasn’t talked about. Then we started chatting to a couple on line. Suddenly I didn’t know where MrH planned to take us. Suddenly I panicked that I had opened a door I would regret. It had been a standing joke during our vanilla life that …
Reflecting on…. life
Over the last few weeks there have been a number of discussions between Mr H and myself, about where we are, where we seem to be heading, and where we want to head. These have led to a few realisations that in fact we need to change direction because we are heading where we don’t want to go, falling into the trap of potentially doing things because we think we should not because we want to. Which direction do you go? One of these direction changes …