Our wedding was a civil service which meant we couldn’t use the traditional vows, they don’t allow you to, so we wrote our own.
Now MrH states categorically that we will not renew our vows at any time. He says that as he hasn’t changed his mind on the first lot there’s no need to repeat them.. and I can understand his point of view… even if I do love the romantic idea of it.
This year will mark our 20 year wedding anniversary. China if you follow that sort of thing, but we are definitely looking forward to celebrating it, even though it will be a few days late.
Our Vows
I remember how it felt to say my vows to Mr H, and hear him say his to me. I remember thinking how lucky I was and yet, looking back, I didn’t appreciate how truly lucky I was.
Traditional vows
I do wish we could have used the traditional vows. I have always liked them.. these are the usual words in a Church of England service (or at least some of them)
N, will you take N, to be your wife?
Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
I, N, take you, N, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.⁹
Oh yes I would have like to have heard these words… and in turn said them to him.. the legal requirements of the civil service are much duller…
I call upon these persons, here present, to witness that I (your full name) do take thee (your partner’s full name) to be my lawful wedded wife/husband
I mean come on!!!!
Where’s the poetry? The emotion?
Would you obey?
I would, If I could have promised to obey MrH even back then, before our D/s. I wanted the traditional marriage. Well I wanted what my gran and grandad had.
I love the words of the traditional Anglican service, they show that marriage is about taking care of each other, and I know a lot of people shy away from the woman obeying her husband but I would point out that in this service the husband ultimately promises to worship his new wife and endow her with all his worldly goods so in a time when women had little financial independence upon marriage she was gifted everything her husband owned.
The thing is, in all honesty, the words spoken on this one day, mean very little unless you live up to them every day and on reflection I don’t think I’d change a thing.
To see more posts about vows, click HERE.
We did the traditional vows, but I’ve been thinking of having a new ceremony—renewing our vows. Only if we did I’m toying with the idea of having a BDSM ceremony where I promise to love and obey and she promises to rule… very early in my thoughts though.
Nice ❤
I wrote our vows…and I took “obey” out of them. At that time in our relationship (13 years ago), I didn’t understand how important that concept would become for us. I was drawn to the feminist ideal that I shouldn’t have to obey any man. But, now? Lot has changed, and I make a daily promise to obey and follow, even though I still have a mind of my own and He expects me to use it.
I love the idea of traditional marrage, too. And I think too often, it gets a bad rep in this day and age.
❤