This morning when I got up, I was so tired and in so much pain I cried. Can you imagine that? You open your eyes and as soon as you move pain hits you. Chronic pain, the pain I have, is I think something very few people fully understand.
Understanding Chronic Pain.
“Have you taken some pain killers?” and “We all have back ache sometimes.”
Yes, I have actually heard these sentences. My mum is one of the worst offenders. She resides deep in the “pull yourself together and get on with it” camp. She has no idea how hard I find it some days, to put one foot in front of the other. I mean quite literally, each step hurts. I don’t have back ache. I have pain so excruciating, at times I can’t think. Chronic pain is essentially pain that lasts longer than 3 months; I am upto 11 years, on and off.
Simple movements are agony. Twist, pain. Bend, pain. Cough, pain. Sneeze, pain. Lift leg, pain. Go upstairs, pain. Sit, pain. Stand, pain. Walk, pain.
I’m sure you get the picture.
I’m frustrated. I mean really frustrated. Between my normal back pain and now this bilateral sciatic pain, my pain is up at an 8, (usually it’s about a 5 or 6). It’s keeping me awake, and that means I’m tired. When you add this physical exhaustion to the mental exhaustion from the stress at work, I’m worried I am heading back to a bad place.
This chart may help you to understand the way I measure the chronic pain I feel.
I just want the pain to go away. I want to sleep. Surely this isn’t too much to ask? Apparently it is.
To read more about my battle with chronic pain and depression click the links below: