On Being a Submissive,On Chronic Pain and Disability,Tell Me About,Wicked Wednesday

Why make changes to the site?

You may have noticed a few changes to the site appearance over the last few weeks. In fact every spring I have done so – made changes I mean – to the way the site looks. But why change it again? I mean it looked great, I spent ages designing it… Well…. Last year I invested in Elementor and created completely bespoke sites, but with one thing and another I have been less active and as the renewal looms I had to assess the viability of doing so. Doesn’t everything seem to come down to money? Pffft!

I am not working anymore so in all fairness I do have to look at things differently and there are so many awesome themes out there I decided that renewing Elementor was not the best use of funds.

Changes Begin -Blossom Theme

Finding a theme took a few hours, I settled on Blossom and deactivated Elementor. I think in all it took me about 2 days of fiddling to get everything how I wanted, but it’s done now and this is how it will remain. (I think….)

What’s in a name?

No, don’t fret, I am not going to spout more poetry. Not today. You may also have noticed the (not so) subtle change to the site title. Does this mean I am not submissive? No, just that right now the dynamics of Dom/sub are not the priority. I still prefer the submissive role, but I have to accept that I am not behaving as submissively as I did. I had rules around purchasing (totally gone out of the window) you should see the stacks of fabrics I have for crafts (LOL) and Mr.H is on first name terms with our local delivery people.

I don’t go downstairs for food without waking Mr.H. but at the same time I will go downstairs to check on the cats, heat a wheat pillow etc. So while some rules (most rules) have gone out the window, others have remained unchanged.

This blog started as a place for me to process the emotions and feelings I had about being submissive, but it evolved over time into a place for me to express myself too, to use my voice and highlight the struggles of having a physical disability as well as ongoing mental health struggles. The responses and encouragement I have received from people have been wonderful and have one more than one occasion made me cry.

I am going to make a renewed effort to write more often.

And now the news…

UK residents can begin to make plans again.

The announcement that the UK lock down is coming to and end has given us something to look forward to as well, and Mr.H has said we will be going to a hotel as soon as they reopen. I’m also hopeful that J will start to leave the premises to visit is girlfriend as soon as travel and meeting up is permitted giving us some alone time at home. These things will mean our sex life can be given some attention.

I am sure that at some point we will have more D/s in our everyday lives but I am beginging to think this may not happen until J leaves home. We had a glimpse of how it could be with the house to ourselves and it is much nicer than having a gown up child in it too.

Social Media is anything but social.

I have stopped interacting on social media almost completely after coming to the stark realization that it really is not a nice social place to be and I do feel much better for it. Notifications of new posts are shared and an old post is shared each day. Despite my lack of interaction my followers have grown steadily, and new people follow this blog too, and I am grateful and humbled that people do so.

Becoming disabled changes friendships.

I have written about this before, in relation to mental health as well as physical disability, but I think it is worth doing so again. Covid 19 has caused friendships to be redefined as it has only been possible to communicate using chat apps, video calls, and the traditional telephone. I wonder how many people have realized their friendships are one sided? How many friendships have perished?

In the beginning of the pandemic chat groups formed. People tried to support each other, and keep their spirits up. Time wore on and the groups got smaller. People left groups because of negativity or for other reasons. Newer friendships withered and died. I find I am once again in that position where only one or two people remain in contact with me. By that I mean, people who message me unprompted as much as I message them. I learned the hard way that there is little point in a friendship when you are always the person reaching out.

The referral to Physiotherapy has been made.

I have a virtual appointment with the physiotherapist in a few weeks, and the pain specialist has noted that he is ‘not concerned with my level of opioid use’. He has made a request that my slow release morphine be reduced by 10mg during the day, so I can take this as standard release morphine instead. His plan is that I can take it as needed to become more active. He also made a couple of suggestions for changing medications around.

Our complaint about the surgeon is still ongoing but I was highly amused to see that the pain specialist copied him in on his letter. It makes a bit of a mockery of his ‘stop taking opioids’ mantra when the pain specialists then say they are not concerned by it!

And now for the weather… Just Kidding!

Well, you are all caught up, I hope each and every one of you is safe and well.

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  


I have linked this post to Wicked Wednesday #458 ‘Mouth’ and Tell Me About #55 ‘Foundations’. Please do visit each prompt page and read the other linked posts.

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  1. Tip says:

    Late winter is a great time to shake things up a bit. I enjoy your writing no matter the subject. Glad to hear things are opening up for you and I hope that with the coming of spring you feel better soon.

    1. Thank you

  2. Yay sweet. It is lovely to see that you are back feeling more positive about your blog and about using your voice. I miss hearing you. I am glad that things seem to be making slow changes to allow you to move forwards although I notice that there still isn’t a date for surgery so I assume that you are still waiting for that.

    I think that the things you have written about here have happened to many people in some ways during the pandemic. I know that it has certainly affected things for us and it all feels pretty slow and like we need to be in a period of recovery. We have been trying to step things up in terms of D/s too but at the moment work is pretty much sucking up all that I have to give.

    As you say, let us look forward and hope that things start to improve as restrictions ease. I am sorry if I am one of those who has not not been there enough for you. missy xx
    missy recently posted…In the window again ~ another flashMy Profile

    1. At the moment I don’t think surgery is going to be happening. We are in the learn to live with it stage.

      As you say the pandemic has affected many peoples dynamics, and hopefully a return to “normal” will enable everyone to kink their lives back up.

      With regards the friends thing it was more of a general observation around the people I know in my vanilla life not aimed at my kinky friends. I took myself out of that sphere by stepping back. ☺

  3. You site looks lovely!

  4. Glad to hear you have some good news on the pain front.
    We have the same issue with opioids. For some pain, they are the only relief my wife gets, perhaps once or twice a month. We are all too well aware of addictive medications and withdrawal effects, having gone through 12 months of benzo withdrawal 30 years ago – not something I would wish on my worst enemies. Thank goodness our GP is understanding with renewal scripts.

    On the web/blog layout changes, I have 2 comments. First, the colour of links seems to be pale mauve and on a white background is almost invisible.
    Secondly, I am not a fan of your font choice. It is especially difficult to read (and harder to edit) in comments where the font size seems to be smaller. As a professional writer, editor and newsletter publisher of many years, I have finally settled on the Verdana font for readability.

    All the best and I hope the UK easing of lock-down works. We have been so lucky in Australia. We measure our progress in “triple donut days” – zeros new community cases, zero international quarantine cases and zero deaths. Hospital covid wards and ICUs are empty. In 6 months, we have had just a handful of cases where the virus has ‘escaped’ quarantine. Within a couple of days, One case spreads to 50. Thankfully, the community understands the importance of self-isolation if a possible contact, intensive contact tracing and suburb focused community testing. (70,000 in a recent outbreak), and a small potential outbreak is eliminated.
    Sir Thomas recently posted…The Knighting of Sir ThomasMy Profile

    1. Thank you so much for the website feedback, I’ll see if I can change the colour of the links. I will also review the font ☺

      My brother and his husband moved to Australia last year and I have seen the excellent way the pandemic has been handled there.

      Take care

      1. I agree…the colors and fonts have really made it easier to read. Nice work!

        1. Thank you

    2. Hi, please Let me know if the changes are more user friendly

      1. Emminently! And the contrast in the headings really make them pop.
        A pleasure to read visually, without eye strain taking away from the pleasure of the content.

        1. Thank you

  5. HeartsHope says:

    I am glad there is finally going to be some progress. I know it’s a long time coming. My fingers are crossed for you getting some permanent relief. I hope they are able to find a solution that actually deals with the issue and not just expecting you to deal with it.

    1. Thank you

  6. The changes look great! Hope things improve for you.
    Brigit Delaney recently posted…CommunityMy Profile

    1. Thank you

  7. I want to start where Missy ended – I am sorry if I have been one of the ones who didn’t keep in contact. I guess with everything playing in my life regarding my son, I have been shying away from others in more ways than one.
    That said, I am happy to see you are going to try to get back to writing. I think I said it before, but sharing your experiences with your health, and how it influences your (D/s) relationship, your daily life, etc. is helpful to others out there. Many of us are going through difficult times, and we need to let others know they are not alone.
    I love the new look of your blog, although I have to say I am sorry that the one you built with Elementor is gone. But I understand the need for a change.
    Take care, Sweet!
    Marie xox
    Marie Rebelle recently posted…Greedy little slut… she wants moreMy Profile

    1. It was more to do with vanilla friends, and I know other people I’ve talked to like me have found the same thing.

      It always comes down to money doesn’t it though, and sometimes you can’t justify spending it on a “virtual” product.
      Take care xx

  8. It’s great to see a positive tone in your writing.
    As for the site, in my opinion, now it looks better. At least you stopped using this hard-to-read font, for which a special thank you 🙂

    1. You’re welcome

  9. I quite like the changes 🙂

    1. Thank you Devie x

  10. Reach out Sweet – I still think you are a wonderful person and would love to chat more – think of u often – the whole lockdown experience – has made me feel disconnected to many – online and offline – but would make time for u
    May xx
    May More recently posted…A mouth has many uses – Apparently!My Profile

    1. Thank you

  11. Hi Sweet, your new site looks great and I think refreshing and re-inventing is healthy. Excellent news about getting closer to the results you want regarding medical help/change, and eased restrictions will assist the feeling of improvement.
    I too have pulled back friendship-wise from many people and groups in which I was more involved – the pandemic hit everything hard. I don’t like to think of it making you feel isolated though Sweet. Perhaps when you are writing more you will get a sense of connection again.
    Posy Churchgate recently posted…Vibes of the 70s – From Glam Rock to New WaveMy Profile

  12. I keep that little black kitty and mouse you made me right on my desk at school. It makes me think of you more often than you know. It’s adorable…and I love it and so appreciate that you took the time to make it and send it all across the ocean just for me.
    Brigit Delaney recently posted…The State of Our Sexual UnionMy Profile

    1. You’re so welcome Brigit xxx

  13. Change is always for the better.

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