low angle photo of eiffel tower

Trying Viagra for the first time: A Happy Hardon

I have debated writing this post for a while, not only because it can be a sensitive topic and I wasn’t sure if Mr H would be ok with me writing about it, but also because it feels insensitive. I have mentioned a few times that Mr H has struggled to take full advantage of our alone time. What I have avoided mentioning, is that the pressure he feels to ‘perform’ has left him either unable to get or struggling maintain an erection. This can …

update on our rope work

Hotel break and other things – a little update.

I haven’t written much in the last few days, I haven’t had time. We have had a rather busy time and I have either been asleep or sewing but now things have calmed down I can update you all on what we have been up to. Christmas Creating. Some of you may recall I am quite crafty – not like sneaky but in making things. Knitting, crochet and sewing. The last 12 months has seen that develop a little and while I wouldn’t say I …

anonymous barefooted melancholic woman embracing knees on floor

When your mind and body rebel.

We went away on Saturday overnight to our favourite hotel and things didn’t quite go as planned. That isn’t to say that a good time wasn’t had, because it was. But my mind and body were not quite in sync, and neither was Mr H’s. A painful body First of all I forgot to adjust my medications and so by the time we arrived at the Hotel I was feeling it. The pain made me snippy and I criticised Mr H’s driving. I didn’t tell …

man and woman couple wearing their silver couple bond ring

Is Now a Good Time to Talk?

Well apparently, half past six (in the morning) is not a good time to talk but that is what happened. It all started innocent enough, I was telling Mr H about the chat on The Safewords Club the night before (it was about feeling submissive) and as I went through the various discussions we ended up taking about our situation too. What situation? The last few months our D/s has floundered a little. Or more to the point we are struggling to get back our …

brown leaf trees on forest

What is so special about Autumn?

Autumn, that wonderful time of year when the leaves turn golden brown and russet red. The birds start to migrate south, the temperature drops and the nights get longer. I have always had an affinity with Autumn, probably because my birthday is in October, but I just love the colours that can be seen in nature during this time of year. This has not always been the case though. Season of Sadness Several years ago that all changed. Seven days after my birthday my dad …

prioritising intimacy

What’s the best way to manage change?

There have been a lot of changes in our relationship over the last 2 years, some caused by this ruddy covid thing, and some caused by my disability, but one thing we have become pretty good at is working out how to manage them. But first of all let me add a teeny tiny disclaimer: What works for Mr H and I may not work for everyone – but as they say if you don’t try you’ll never know! So that said, how do we …

person looking out the window

Is the lockdown really coming to an end?

The lockdown in England is about to move into the next stage of the “roadmap out of lockdown” and two households will be allowed to meet up – outdoors – while maintaining social distancing, without breaking the rule of 6. Sound complicated? Well yes, and no. They don’t count children under 5 but you’re buggered if you have 3 teenagers! With 3 teens and two adults your household is at 5 so you still can only meet 1 grandparent at a time?! I mean it’s …

woman in gray tank top

How to keep your mind from going mad

In this new lockdown, as with others, one of the things I see most on social media is how bored people are, going mad, stir crazy, locked up in their homes with their families. I find this saddening and fascinating at the same time. We spend so much time busy with our lives, running here and there, how many of us actually spend time truly together? So many couples reach retirement only to find they do not know each other any more. But I digress …

couple embracing real love

Real love, lockdown and being cared for.

Well hello 2021. Mr. H and I saw in the new year the way we always do, in bed, sleeping. Real Love. That’s what we have, real love. Not fancy, not glamorous. Just real. The UK is locked down again. Not surprising for most of us and yet despite all the restrictions and warnings from the NHS that it is overwhelmed there were still people selfish enough to protest outside a leading hospital, without masks or following social distancing rules, saying covid is a hoax. …

christmas 2020 post thoughts on covid 19

Reflecting on 2020: Covid 19, Chronic Pain and Isolation.

What a year 2020 has been. I don’t think anyone’s world is unchanged. So many have lost loved ones, whether that be from covid 19, or not, and so much loneliness caused by isolation either from fear of infection or from the national and regional lockdowns, 2020 has been a year of desperation and uncertainty for us all. Covid 19 The emergence of Covid 19 in March as a Worldwide pandemic affected my household very little. Mr. H and I were already unable to go …