Writing about Love, Life, Marriage,


Kinky Fuckery!

(among other things........)

On Everyday Life


How to cope when your D/s becomes D/s Less

2020 has kicked our D/s Asses. My chronic pain and all the side effects of that have brought our D/s activities to a resolute stop and it has not only highlighted how much we enjoy them, but how they have become part of our normal lives. D/s, D’not. We used to partake 2 cane sessions each week – Wednesdays and Sundays. As I have lost some of the feeling in my derriere it is no longer safe to do this activity. All D/s activities are essentially risk assessed by Dominants and submissives as part of either RACK or SSC and

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How to stay positive when life sucks

I think it is fair to say for many people right now life kinda sucks. We are unable to enjoy the freedoms we did in order to ensure the NHS can cope with the number of people that are unwell, and to protect as many vulnerable people as possible. Covid 19 will, I think, be remembered the way we remember the black death and the Spanish Flu, and I for one hope that I do not lose and friends or family to it (touch wood). For me personally this couldn’t have come at a worse time, living in pain as

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hospital appointment

My hospital appointment was cancelled. Now what?

Yes, you read that right, my hospital appointment has been cancelled. It’s not like I haven’t been expecting it. I always plan for the worst; I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed, but I guess the closer it got, the more I began to hope. The last few days my mobile has received calls from a ‘private’ number but on answering it has disconnected. This is unfortunately not uncommon as the signal in our home is shocking, even using wifi calling. When I finally got a connection, it was the hospital. Clinic’s are being cancelled. Thank you Covid! Cancelled Hospital

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naked liberty boobs

How to Find Liberty: Being Emotionally Naked

For many years I was ashamed of my body. I avoided mirrors, and was convinced my husband found me unattractive. Diets never stuck – or should I say I never stuck with diets – and for every bit of weight I lost I gained double within a few months. It took me a long time to realise that the reason for the weight gain was emotional not physical. Yes I ate too much or ate the wrong foods in excess, but because I hid myself emotionally, I ate. I ate to cover my feelings. It wasn’t until I stopped and

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Hope is a waste of time.

“You only have one chance to make a good impression,” is something that my parents drummed into me my whole childhood, and they were damn good at putting on a show that meant people never saw the real home I lived in.  I knew from an early age that nothing I did was good enough, I was a girl, a split arse, useless, a disappointment.  I have tried so hard to redefine myself as an adult especially after my breakdown in 2005, but recent events on twitter have shaken me back to that person who knows with absolute certainty that

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Seven Days in April – Day Five

I have spoken a few times about how I have a tendency to overthink things and how this affects my mental health.  The lockdown has I think, had a bad effect on many people judging from some of the comments on twitter and facebook from people who are struggling with feelings of isolation and boredom.  I have a theory that having things to do, to occupy your mind is essential to maintaining a stable mental state.  I know it doesn’t do for me to be ‘in my own head’ for too long.   I have also shared what depression means

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I love being a girl.

I love being a girl, I’ve never wanted to be anything else and I know that makes me lucky.  I have never known the emotional struggle of not feeling comfortable in my own body, of having to make others understand that my gender identity is not the one I was assigned at birth.  I know nothing of it.  How could I?  It’s not something I have experienced.  My brother is gay and our parents were extremely and openly homophobic. We hated it, but given my stepfathers abuse it wasn’t easy to speak out when I lived at home.  After I

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Fictional Books and Me

I love to read fiction. As a teenager I would escape into a book and hide away from my life. When I read a book that really grabs my attention, the world melts away, I become so absorbed in the story that I have absolutely no idea what is going on around me, I do not hear people speaking and I completely lose track of time. For study purposes this is extremely useful but it has been quite some time since I found a book that grabbed my attention so completely. In fact the last book to do so was

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Light Support.

I have now spent 9 weeks pretty much lying in bed and my usual underwired bras are not practical wear.  I prefer to go braless as much as I can, for as much as I love the appearance of a bra and the silhouette and cleavage they provide, there is nothing so comfortable as taking them off!  Having said that, while my boobs can hold their own when I am sat or stood, once i am lied down they do tend to wander off, and I decided to purchase some light support bralettes to wear under my pyjamas.  Cross your

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Lean on Me.

Codependency is often seen as a negative thing, where one person enables another to bad behaviour or habits, and there is definitely evidence to support this. But I believe that it is possible for codependence to be something positive too. There is a tendency to take a word and give it just one meaning, to reject any other interpretation in favour of it. Submissy has written a brilliant post on how to spot the things that would mean your relationship is unhealthy, and I urge you to read it. My focus today is on how I believe that within a

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