On Being a Submissive

Our first munch

On Tuesday we went to our first Munch that is held at a local BDSM / swingers club The Townhouse. It takes us 50 minutes to drive there and we were both nervous, uncertain what to expect.

Arriving at the munch.

We arrived and met with some friends who took us in and introduced us. This is one of the better ways to goto a munch, as the people there know you are serious about the lifestyle, and understand how the members value confidentiality. The club owner Lady C, asked us for a £10 deposit when we arrived. We showed ID and received a locker key. There are no phones or cameras allowed in the club so we secured all our belonging including bags and wallets into our locker. The locker key acts as a bar tab while you are there, and your drinks are deducted from your deposit. If you spend more than your deposit you pay the balance when you leave, or get any change if you haven’t. I thought this was a brilliant strategy.

Looking around the Club.

We were made to feel so welcome it was brilliant. Our friend who is a regular at the club showed us (and her other guests) around the club. Explaining the facilities and equipment. She told us about the etiquette and rules for more formal nights too.

There are 4 floors, one of which is a ‘Dungeon’ complete with cages and a padded cell! There are rooms that are designed to accommodate the swingers (basically rooms filled with beds) and some rooms that are for private play and their doors lock. There’s a medical room and a BDSM room with a swing, wheel and benches. The have a room for rope play too with a suspension ring in the ceiling and a hot tub.

So that’s the venue…

The experience.

Definitely worth while. The people there were chatty and friendly. It was nice to see other people that are following the D/s lifestyle, even though I am active in online communities, meeting people in person, really drives home how you’re not the only ones who really do practice it.

In future I would make sure I wasn’t working the next day, because we had to leave at 10 to get home. We arrived back at 11. And in all honesty I did not want to leave when we did, I was having so much fun chatting with the lovely people we had met.

Musings on the Munch.

It hasn’t changed my mind in some respects. I would still be devastated if MrH wanted to play with others. I still don’t want MrH to share me. It may be a swingers venue but the club has separate events for each group, and the events make it clear if it’s a BDSM event or not. They do have events for the two groups to mingle but during those events I believe there are protocols (wearing a towel) that are used to indicate that you are interested in swinging. If you aren’t wearing a towel you won’t be approached..

I don’t care how well I know you, if MrH wanted to touch you instead of or even as well as me, I would die inside. Overall I had a great time and I think Mr H did too. He likes people watching, I’m not sure if that extends to watching people playing or having sex, (which I do have some curiosity towards, but, I would not want to ‘join in’) but I think if I we did observe this, I would need Mr H to demonstrate his desire and need for me as soon as possible so that I was reassured. We’ve definitely agreed that we’ll go again, and Mr H will tell me when that will be.

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  


Have you read about our Hotel stay in December? Click HERE to read it now.

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  1. We’ve been to a few events where full on play was happening. In some carded it was out in the open for all to see and in some cases it was in private areas. Despite the freedom of the events, we played only with ourselves. My Queen spoke to others (as did I when I had permission) but for the most part it was just the two of us. The only time anyone else was involved with us was when others were given permission to spank me. But that really isn’t any sort of sexual touching—as I know you know.

  2. I realize it wasn’t a play event. Munches are for talk not action. I was just talking about events we’d been too. The spankings were with implements. So no actual skin on skin contact.

  3. I’d be very nervous going to any community event. It was good to read your experience, thanks for sharing.

  4. I understand how you feel! My best friend and her husband were swingers but she had one rule that he broke and that was him picking me to be his partner. I had no idea they were swingers; I thought they were joking the whole time about being with other people. Even though I told him no, it devastated her that he’d picked one of her best friends and they divorced shortly after, after almost 11 years of what seemed at times was an open marriage. But clueless me, I really thought they were joking about swinging the whole time.

  5. She remarried and is now with someone who’s utterly devoted to her just as she is to him. I don’t know about the ex-hubby though lol but all that time I thought they had the ideal marriage, still passionate after so many years although they attributed that to the swinging (that I thought they were joking about all that time lol). But in the end, it didn’t sustain after he broke the only rule she made for him not to pick her close friends. But she apparently “broke” his one rule with their swinging, that she only sleep with women since she was bisexual. No men. It was definitely interesting.

    1. Definitely lol

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