I am experiencing sub-drop and Mr H is taking good care of me. He is always my protector, looking out for me, and taking care of me, so after our hotel stay we knew sub drop would be a possibility and have been watchful for it to hit.
One of my favourite articles on sub-drop by Jennifer Bene, for anyone who reads this who has never experienced it I urge you to read this regardless of if you are a Dom(me) or sub. Each person needs to know about it and how to deal with it.
On a side note, she also has a great post on sub-space in her ‘Ask Me Anything (AMA)’ page which again I recommend both D and s alike read as once a sub gets deep into sub space they are no longer able to tell you they are hurt/have had enough- the D must be able to recognise is and respond accordingly.
Managing sub drop
Back to my point. I’m lucky that I am married to my Dom, he can see I am not myself and is able to respond accordingly. As I said before, this drop was inevitable as we had never had such a long and intense play session before. Mr H is being solicitous and caring. He’s reassuring me and he’s asking me to complete little submissive tasks (getting him drinks), to help me maintain my head space, and I’m so grateful.
In turn Mr H is making sure I am warm and hydrated. He is making me drinks and providing cuddles and cakes. Just what I need to feel safe and loved.
I decided to write an entry in my sub diary last night reflecting on the last 6 months; how I’ve changed, how my hard limits have changed, and in such a short space of time. I’ve also come to realise that Mr H is definitely enjoying being a Dom and he knows me better than I thought possible.
I’ll give you an example. A few months ago there was a post on Fetlife asking for models to help a lady make some corsets for an exhibition. Mr H told me about it and encouraged me to contact the lady, which I did. A few weeks later I met her, she’s a Domme who is married to a lovely gentleman who enjoys being flogged but is not her sub or slave. This Domme has a slave, who she is bound to. It is the first time I have met a polyamorous couple. I got on really well with this Domme and she encouraged me to consider going to a local club called The Townhouse. She told me about the munch there, and the beginners nights. Encouraged me to reach out to the club owner if I had any concerns. I was also privileged to be shown her play room. When I got home I told all this to Mr H. And he said maybe we would go in the new year.
What I didn’t realise/think about until a few days ago is how much pre-planning Mr H does. I asked if we would be going to the munch in January. He responded that he hadn’t specified January just the New Year. He went on to say that he was waiting for me to be ready.
I had thought that this was the other way round. Mr H doesn’t like social events so I assumed he was reluctant to go. Then I’ve re-evaluated and I’ve come to the following conclusions:
- He saw the post on a page for the BDSM club. So he had already looked into it.
- If he didn’t want to go he wouldn’t have suggested it.
- He knew I had concerns about protocols/expectations in a social setting.
- He allowed me time to work through them and for my natural curiosity to outweigh my anxiety.
- He’s a very very smart and considerate man (which I did know just perhaps didn’t fully appreciate)
So now I’m hoping we are going to the munch on the second Tuesday of January…. Who’d have thought it?!
Right – I’m going back to my snuggles and my hot drink. I have some happy chemicals to replenish to come out of this sub drop. 😁