4th December 2018

“Let’s do your collar” MrH said as the episode of Strike Back ended. I got up and stood at the foot of the bed, and lifted my ponytail out of the way. He changed my collars and put is arms around me. “Who’s are you?” He asked. “I am yours.” “Who’s my girl?” “I am.” “Who’s going to get my cum later?” My heart stuttered. My breath caught. “Me?” It came out as a question. “Yes you” he whispered. I went to the bathroom, you …

My love, my life…. always

We had a wonderful time at the hotel. MrH blindfolded me and kissed me. He led me to the bed and had me shuffle back. I felt myself move over the waterproof mat so he’d put that over the bed. He passed me the Doxy. “Masturbate for me,” he said. I hesitated, not because of fear, or embarrassment, but because I didn’t know how to turn it on. I told him so. He put my fingers on the buttons and I spent a few moments …

Bridging the gap

Yesterday I had a melt down. We hit what’s probably been the biggest wall in our D/s journey. Relatively speaking the first 16 months of our D/s have moved along without much difficulty (after the initial adjustment and frenzy passed). I’ve had a couple of “ahhh” (or lightbulb 💡 moments) along the way, the major one being when I read MrH post A New Dom’s Tale. Before I read this one of my biggest worries was that MrH was simply humouring me. There’s a saying …

Maintenance works…

He’s semi reclined on the bed when I walk in the room. I don’t realise immediately that he has his cane in his hand. What I did notice is that our boy cat is sat up, attentive. When I do notice the cane I realise that this is what has my cat so focused. His head is moving, following the cane and MrH looks like he’s conducting an orchestra! The cane. A shiver of excitement has fluttered through me, but as we have not been …

What’s too much?

Thanks to the issue I mentioned in my previous post it’s been a while since MrH allowed me to/brought me to/gave me (choose your own meaning there) an orgasm. I’ve talked about how I no longer seem able to orgasm through masturbation – I just don’t seem to have the desire to do it, I am his and I seem to only want him to touch me. So I’m horny as hell. MrH has allowed me to pleasure him, once he even allowed me to …

My Sir

Things have been strange recently. I think D/s has become our normal/default setting and so in many ways the sparkly new shine it once had has gone. I don’t mean to suggest that I’m not content because I am – very much so. I still feel calmer and more settled than before. I am still consumed by desire and need for Sir. Our communication is still better than ever and I am getting better at asking for things. There is of course room for improvement, …

Journal entry 24th October 2018

They cancelled my hospital admission. I was supposed to be having the second procedure done in my spine on Monday… by today I would have been feeling better… by Friday I would have been, dare I say, finally pain free. At least my back wouldn’t be hurting. Instead I am waiting for them to call me with a new admission date. Yesterday MrH told our son he had been looking forward to taking me to the cinema when my back was not painful. I wanted …

word define on spelling dictionary page

A dirty word?

Monogamy as defined by the Collins Dictionary is the state or custom of having a sexual relationship with only one partner When I first asked MrH to consider adding BDSM into our relationship and we began the discussions outside play wasn’t talked about. Then we started chatting to a couple on line. Suddenly I didn’t know where MrH planned to take us. Suddenly I panicked that I had opened a door I would regret. It had been a standing joke during our vanilla life that …

Bliss

I’m in heaven…..Seriously. We got home 6 hours ago (it’s now 16:15) and I’m still floating on a high. The crash will not be pretty. But right now. Damn! I feel spectacular….. The day started well, MrH allowed me to suck his cock, then he used my pussy and gave me his cum. So, really I should have said, the day started very well! Then at 12 we left to complete a few errands before we headed to the hotel. We bought some sandwiches to …

Reflecting on…. life

Over the last few weeks there have been a number of discussions between Mr H and myself, about where we are, where we seem to be heading, and where we want to head.  These have led to a few realisations that in fact we need to change direction because we are heading where we don’t want to go, falling into the trap of potentially doing things because we think we should not because we want to. Which direction do you go? One of these direction changes …