Exploring Kink as a Monogamous Married Couple
There are times when I feel like I ‘need’ Mr H to push me into feeling submissive. This usually coincides with times when our bedroom play has been limited. I lose the close connection to Mr H, instead I feel distant and disconnected as if I am protecting myself from a perceived or expected hurt. Background: Our children are not children anymore at 24 and 19 (sorry for those followers who already know that) and Mr H and I have no intention of them being …
This morning I got my journal out and looked back over some of my early posts. One of the things I noticed most was the emotional turmoil I experienced in those early weeks, and how we dealt with it, or more to the point how we struggled to deal with it. The rollercoaster of emotions took us by surprise and we didn’t communicate enough. Emotional rollercoaster. Suddenly I needed contact with Mr H. I needed to be near him, even following him around the house. …
I don’t profess to be a professional writer of poetry but sometimes I get these rhymes that buzz around in my head almost demanding to be written down, and this was one that happened about Mr H when our D/s was new. I hope you like it, my Ode to MrH aka I love it. An Ode To MrH I love it when you tie me up, I love it when you tease. I love it when you stroke my breasts My nipples firmly squeeze …
During a light hearted online group discussion yesterday I typed ‘rolls eyes’ in response to a comment by one of the Dom’s (who from here on I will refer to as MrX because using Dom all the time reads quite aggressively). Now MrX is aware that Mr H has forbidden eye rolling at him, as it is disrespectful. MrX commented that he would inform Mr H of my eye rolling. Before I go any further [insert Meatloaf song 😂 ] I want to make it …
There’s a song by Faith Hill that I absolutely adore called The Way You Love Me. When Mr H touches me, the way I feel his touch, is something I will never truly be able to describe to him but I wish I could. Here is the video so you can listen/watch it for yourself. One of the reasons I love this song so much, is that I think it would be cool if Mr H could feel the way he makes me feel. And …
I have this bad habit of questioning Mr H’s decisions. Not during a scene – but in our everyday lives, and in doing so I am challenging his authority over and over again. Let me give you an example.. Challenging Authority On Monday it was frosty and we have 1 car (2 motorbikes) and Mr H tends to ride to work. When it’s frosty we leave the bikes at home and I drop Mr H at work (he starts before me). So on Sunday he …
Yesterday I spent all day trying to find the courage to ask Mr H, my Dominant, to help me with a bad habit I have formed. My ability to speak openly and honestly is, I think, improving but I do still struggle with the idea that I am ‘being silly, being a bother’ etc and I often end up upset. Asking your Dominant for help I’ve found that recently I’m waking up during the night and, because of some early childhood conditioning, I invariably end …
As our journey began Mr H and I discussed many things. What did we want from D/s? Should we have a contract? Could we make it 24/7? What should we call each other? What are our limits? I will post about each of these but today I am reflecting on the latter; what are the limits. We agreed to talk about limits but I had no idea what he might be wanting to explore and so I didn’t know really how to begin. I’d dithered …
I used to be quite an anxious person and although I do not mean to suggest I am ‘cured’ because I doubt very much that I ever will be, my anxiety has reduced. I believe this is due to the introduction of dominance and submission to my life. When I am with Mr H, I am calm, he is in charge and this seems to be the key to keeping my anxiety under control. Letting go of the need to be in charge and micromanage …
The decision to wear a collar or not is of course entirely personal. It doesn’t make you any less of a submissive if you don’t wear a solid collar with a padlock so big your neighbour could see it without their binoculars! Your dynamic is private and personal to you – so if your Dom says you’re not a good submissive because you want something discrete or don’t want a collar at all, he is probably not the Dominant you want or are safe with. …