There are times when I feel like I ‘need’ Mr H to push me into feeling submissive. This usually coincides with times when our bedroom play has been limited. I lose the close connection to Mr H, instead I feel distant and disconnected as if I am protecting myself from a perceived or expected hurt.
Our children are not children anymore at 24 and 19 (sorry for those followers who already know that) and Mr H and I have no intention of them being aware of our D/s relationship, or the BDSM elements that we experiment with and/or enjoy.
That means that when they are at home and awake our play can be severely restricted. Recently our 19 year old “heard” Mr H spanking me, and he came out of his bedroom to ask if the sounds were coming from our room.
MrH is planning to start exploring rope bondage but doesn’t want to have the situation occur where the kids want our attention and I’m in odd positions. I guess if he’s able to lie me down and put the quilt over me it may look like I am just in bed, but these interruptions do spoil the mood.
So for the last week Mr H hasn’t played with me. What? Just a week I hear you say? Get back to me when he’s been away for months!!! Suck it up. I’m feeling – disconnected. Not necessarily from Mr H, because we still snuggle and do our daily rituals, more from my submissive mental state.
When Mr H plays with me, I float away from my body and lose myself in him. I’m his, that’s all I know, I’ll be and do whatever he asks of me, as long as I can keep floating. Having not had that for the last week – I just don’t feel quite right.
I don’t know. I’ve read about feeding submission, but how? Being new to this I’m floundering, and I’ve discussed it with Mr H his morning and asked him if he can think of anything to help me. I don’t know what he may come up with or even if he fully knows what I am feeling to be able to help.
So I’m asking my followers:
- Subs: have you felt this and how do you deal with it?
- Dominants: have you seen your subs experience this and how did you deal with it?
Leave your suggestions in the comments boxes or links to posts you think might help.