sleeping pain

What a Relief!

At the moment, I am on the edge.  My pain is barely controlled.  I’m exhausted. I get through work but the effort of doing so through the pain is exhausting.  So today I came home from work and I headed straight up to bed. I took the pain medication I can take and I got into bed. The relief I felt just laying down in bed. I can’t describe it. It was so nice.  Yesterday was the same. I’m exhausted. I’m so sick of being tired. I really am. …

Effort

Blogging from A2Z 2019: Effort

Relationships require effort and I think that a D/s relationship requires more than most. I’m not trying to diminish in any way a loving, healthy vanilla relationship, not at all, but I believe we can become quite complacent in long term relationships. We can take our partners for granted. Sex can become routine, I mean if you know what works for each other that’s what you’re going to do – right? Daily living takes over from excitement and passion and falls into the pattern of …

discipline

Blogging from A2Z 2019: Discipline

The second word from the anachronism BDSM, Discipline is an important part of my relationship with MrH. I am expected to maintain a certain level of self discipline, in that I must follow rules I have been set but also it falls to MrH to discipline me when I fail to follow the rules. This isn’t something he initially felt comfortable with but he does it as required. Of course D could also stand for Dominant, the role MrH plays in our relationship. MrH agreed …

A2Z Anal

Blogging from A2Z 2019: Anal

I’m a self professed Anal Slut. I love it. It makes me feel submissive and owned. It turns me on in a big way and it’s something Mr H has said we will explore more, but we don’t often. In fact we haven’t for a while but that means it remains a special treat. I think some of it is to do with the necessary preparation. With the risk of cross contamination, anal play takes thought, more planning. Gloves, condoms lube and wipes are needed. …

safewords

Tell Me About: Safewords

One of the first things MrH and I did when we started our D/s journey was agree some safewords. We went with the very simple traffic light system that is quite commonly used. During impact play MrH would ask me “what colour?” Green If I was comfortable and happy to continue, I would respond with “Green.” Yellow If I could continue but was getting close to my limit, or needed a little break, I would respond with “Yellow.” Red – ‘The Safeword’ This isn’t a …

sexy

The Erotic Journal Challenge 12: Sexy

This is something I battle with on a daily basis, feeling sexy. Naked I don’t often feel sexy. I see stretch marks and cellulite. I see lumps and a lack of symmetry. I see surgical scars. What makes me feel sexy? In lingerie, sometimes, it depends on where my head is at. If I’m down all I see are lumps and bumps. Other times I see a curvaceous woman that MrH loves. The angle and filters help of course. Fully clothed I often feel most …

kidney stones

The Week That Was… Frightening

It’s been a difficult week. I spent the first few days petrified that I would be facing another 5 months on bed rest. As a result I resisted going to hospital. When I finally gave in (on Thursday morning) and headed off to hospital in an ambulance I was trying hard not to cry. I asked Mr H to stay home as I knew it would involve hours of waiting around. I also knew I would be sent for an MRI before they made any …

update on our rope work

Lollipops and skipping ropes

There was a song I used to sing when I was little, it was on a record my dad bought me and occasionally it’s lyrics run through my mind. A reminder I suppose of innocent days before my parents separated. It was the B side to the ramblers track “only a poor little sparrow” but I loved it. You can find it on YouTube of course but it’s a poor quality recording. I think it always reminded me of my dad so that’s why I …

Tell Me About: Bondage

Bondage plays a big part of our relationship. When I first asked Mr H to consider adding BDSM elements to our relationship bondage was my starting point. I asked him to try restraining and dominating me. Mr H didn’t think I’d like being restrained and told what to do but he was willing to give it a go! Verbal Bondage Our first dabble was verbal control. He positioned me on the bed and told me “don’t move”. These simple words sent a tingle through me …

Everyday life

It feels like ages since I blogged and yet I know it’s not.  At the moment I’m tired and I feel like I have nothing new or interesting to say.  Our D/s is tripping along on an even keel. We are talking on Wednesday evenings. We have a cane session on a Sunday and a Wednesday evening too. I told MrH that I was not getting the same effect from the cane as I had got used to it and so he increased the impact a …