It’s been a difficult week. I spent the first few days petrified that I would be facing another 5 months on bed rest. As a result I resisted going to hospital. When I finally gave in (on Thursday morning) and headed off to hospital in an ambulance I was trying hard not to cry.
I asked Mr H to stay home as I knew it would involve hours of waiting around. I also knew I would be sent for an MRI before they made any decisions.
Thankfully I have been told I do not need to head for bed rest again. I have a disc bulging at L5-S1 (which is the disc between the last bone in the lumbar spine and the first bone in the sacral spine), which is pinching the nerve that exits the spine there. This is causing the pins and needles and the change in sensation.
I’ve been referred to a neurologist for them to investigate why when I am touched on my left leg it doesn’t feel the same as the right side.
I was so glad to get home yesterday evening. To be able to sleep next to Mr H. I missed him so much.
Today I have been monitored and looked after by Mr H. I’ve been told not to bend forward or lift any weight. They didn’t actually specify what weight and so we’re sticking to the no more than a kettle of water rule that was set following my hysterectomy.
We ordered a Slendertone connect abdominal belt earlier in the week and today I used it for the first time. Felt odd but also nice. When you exercise your abdominal muscles you also work the sympathetic muscles in your back, and I could feel that today. I’m hoping that with regular use the muscle tone will come back and help support my spine.
I’ve also bought a posture correcting shoulder brace which will arrive tomorrow. The guide says to build up to wearing for an hour at a time twice a day at most as its meant to retrain the muscles not replace them.
None of these are quick fixes, nor do they guarantee that this will never happen again but I have to feel like I’m doing something.
I don’t want my physical limitations to impact our D/s.
I don’t want to feel a distance grown between us because we can’t play as we normally do.
I accept that things will need to be modified. We won’t be able to use the cane or any impact play when I can’t feel properly. That would be irresponsible.
But I hope we can maintain our connection in other ways.