Exploring Kink as a Monogamous Married Couple
“I want you to fuck my ass,” was one of the first dirty things I asked Mr H for, if you don’t count spanking or asking him to be my Dominant. It was also one of the hardest things I have asked for. In fact asking him to do things to me is something I find really, really hard. But why? This is something I ask myself time and time again. Why, why, why? The thing is, I really don’t know. Why can’t I just say …
While S2 was at work on Boxing Day, we took the opportunity to play. I thought we would not be playing until the evening when S2 went out with friends and so mentally I was prepared for that. When MrH put got two glass dildos out and the doxy I wasn’t prepared. In fact I worried that my mind was not going to play well. He pointed at the door “Go for a wee.” He said. It wasn’t a suggestion it was clearly an order …
Being in the wrong mindset can ruin a carefully planned scene, and it is as important, for the Dom, as the sub to be in the right frame of mind. If either one of us isn’t feeling it then the chances are it either won’t work out, or it will take a lot of effort to make it work. So, I guess the important questions is: Mindset, what makes it, what breaks it? There are a lot of ways that my state of mind can …
It’s Friday Night and J has gone to work, MrH dropped him off and we are alone until 10pm. MrH plans to play, if the kiss he gave me earlier is anything to go by. My body had responded to that kiss like a horny wanton slut. Tea was cooked and eaten when MrH came into the room with a handful of black and said “when you have showered, shaved and so on, you are required to wear these.” Instructions. I can’t lie, my body …
Punishment or Discipline? In the world of BDSM, the ‘D’ can mean Discipline or Dominance. We don’t really explore the full scope of BDSM, because I am not a huge fan of pain. I do not want bruises or to bleed as some people who are masochistic do; and I don’t believe that MrH would want me bruised and bloodied. We exist more in the BD (Bondage & Discipline) and the DS (Dominance & Submission) range. While we explore bondage, (I love being tied up), …
Within a D/s relationship with a power exchange like ours, control is just an illusion. We have agreed rules and boundaries; Mr H works within those boundaries. To the outside world, it looks like Mr H has all the power because he makes the decisions. And, that is where the illusion lies, because I have the power to veto anything I don’t want to do by using a safeword, or by calling the whole agreement off. It begins with a conversation. When we started our …
Twice a week The SafeworD/s Club host chats, they are an online munch if you will, a safe space to chat and share with like minded people. I join in as much as possible and if you haven’t been there click the link to create an account. (Details of the chat times are at the bottom of this post.) Last night at the chat I mentioned that I had a plan to place all MrH’s toys into drawers so he could access them more easily, …
When we entered into a D/s relationship, MrH and I talked about our fantasies and it opened up a whole world of sexual play that had been previously unexplored. In our early years I purchased a number of traditional dress up items. A French Maids outfit and a PVC dress were worn with stockings to great effect and MrH’s delight, but having worn them once, having seen them once, MrH would always decline when I asked if he wished me to wear them again. I …
Training is something that is definitely prevalent in D/s fiction and I admit to enjoying the Brie series of books by Red Phoenix which chronicles Brie’s journey through a submissive training school. I have no problem with training in fiction, however, I do have some issues with the concept of training in real life. Why would one person wish to fundamentally change another? I asked MrH to add D/s to our relationship we came to a mutual agreement about the way that would be put …
A reset is used to draw a line under a period of time and start fresh. In terms of our D/s this usually means a lapse in following the rules, and / or a drop in mind sets. With the recent health challenges we were in need of a reset and Mr H used our go to method, a spanking, to achieve it. Resets. I had shifted myself to stretch my back a little and I was on my hands and elbows and my behind …