Writing about Love, Life, Marriage,


Kinky Fuckery!

(among other things........)

Sex Bloggers 4 Mental Health

The Anxiety Beast

I never thought of myself as an anxious person growing up, but then again, I was extremely proficient at being the child my parents expected me to be in social situations. My mum was “painfully shy” as a child and was determined that I would not be. From a young age she pushed me into social situations, pushed me to talk to children, to perform tricks front of adults, (reciting poems/singing songs) all with the belief that this would not make me shy. Instead I spent my early years knowing that who I am was not good enough. Following my

Read More »

Lean on Me.

Codependency is often seen as a negative thing, where one person enables another to bad behaviour or habits, and there is definitely evidence to support this. But I believe that it is possible for codependence to be something positive too. There is a tendency to take a word and give it just one meaning, to reject any other interpretation in favour of it. Submissy has written a brilliant post on how to spot the things that would mean your relationship is unhealthy, and I urge you to read it. My focus today is on how I believe that within a

Read More »
prioritising intimacy

Prioritising Intimacy

Yesterday’s post Hairy Pussy resulted in a long discussion between Mr H and myself.  Probably one that was very overdue, well there is no probably about it really.  I have written about how we have not made the effort we should, and again and again said we would, but we haven’t.  We have not focused on ourselves, we have not been prioritising intimacy.  Not really, and definitely not consistently. Life gets in the way. 2019 was not a great  year for us.  My back pain skyrocketed, work became an emotional drain, and Mr H ended up in hospital too.  Our

Read More »

Grow from Love

As the year and decade end approaches we are all prone to reflect back on our achievements and failures, and to look at how we have changed and grown in the intervening years.  I think Mr H and I have come a long way together in the last ten years, and even further in the last 2.  This year we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.  We have been together for 24 years and I couldn’t be happier.  Honestly.  I am happier than I have ever been.  I look at him and want to smile. Growing Together. Mr H and I

Read More »

Punishment and Rewards

Punishment or Discipline? In the world of BDSM, the ‘D’ can mean Discipline or Dominance.  We don’t really explore the full scope of BDSM, because I am not a huge fan of pain.  I do not want bruises or to bleed as some people who are masochistic do; and I don’t believe that MrH would want me bruised and bloodied.  We exist more in the BD (Bondage & Discipline) and the DS (Dominance & Submission) range. While we explore bondage, (I love being tied up), we do not do much by way of discipline. Consequences. I have a set of

Read More »

Don’t tell me

I have depressive illness. At the moment it is controlled by medication and careful management of what I do. I have to be careful not to take on too much, or to commit to too much. When I do I inevitably crash and burn. What I have found in the 14 years that I have lived with my illness is that people who haven’t experienced depression or seen someone close to them experience it, have absolutely no idea how to deal with it, or how to treat people suffering from it. All too often it is still considered to be

Read More »


Pain has become an old friend to me, it’s the kind of friend that sucks you dry, takes your energy and leaves you feeling like crap.  Yes pain and I are well acquainted. I have written about my friend before, many times.  How it has impacted our sex lives and my life in general.  I’ve talked about the Medial branch nerve block – test procedure, the actual procedures, and after a few months pain free, the eventual its return. Chronic Pain. Since 2008 my life has been controlled my pain.  Should we go for a walk? Depends on the terrain, the distance and how

Read More »

Suicide – too close for comfort

I really wasn’t sure I could write for this prompt. It feels too close, too raw, but i decided to just put down a few lines and link my recent posts so I’m not repeating myself too much. Both our sons have now considered suicide, our youngest just a Few weeks ago. T battled the impulse for years (When your children suffer), I’m hoping that J will not. T refused to take medication. J takes it. I have had my own mental health battles, (I say battles for the war goes on), but I never considered suicide. My boys kept

Read More »
3 things

3 things

The prompt for this weeks SB4MH is what 3 things would you tell your 5 year self to remember? Sounds simple enough only it isn’t. I mean you can’t tell a 5 year old not to marry the first man she has sex with can you? Highly inappropriate. You can’t say tell your mum you want braces, cos you have no idea what braces could mean, but then again.. at 5 big things happened to me and so there are things I could say….. Remember…. You did nothing wrong. My mum left my dad when I was 5. She woke

Read More »

Everybody needs somebody

Recently a young lady our son knows took an overdose. Fortunately she’s ok. When she was discharged from the hospital she agreed to come to our home for a while, she needs somebody to look after her while she continues to recover. It breaks my heart that there are so many young people with such despair, and so sure that life has nothing to offer them except pain. When I saw this prompt for Sex Bloggers 4 Mental Health, I knew immediately how to respond. Everybody needs somebody. I know, I know, it’s a song right? I’m kinda singing it

Read More »


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.


Never Miss A Post!

Enter your email address below to receive an email notification whenever a new post is published.

%d bloggers like this: