disabled help

I don’t want to be disabled

I have written before about how I struggle when Mr H has to work on a Saturday, how I get anxious to an, in all honestly unhealthy level and if you follow my blog you will know Mr H has been in hospital this week.  He isn’t home yet, but hopefully he is home today.  I have coped emotionally, my anxiety has been normal and healthy, focused on Mr H and stay in hospital and him getting better.  What I don’t like is how much …

Stress Head

I think there are times in my life where I could definitely have been described as being a stress head. I would worry about everything and anything. Usually things I had no control over or were not my problems in the first place. Over the years MrH has retrained me and I have, in many cases, stopped.  I no longer worry if someone I know can make it to their appointments. Unless they ask me for help I now assume they have it under control. I …

Out of it

Things have been a little off lately.  I’m so tired, a side effect of the amitriptyline, I come home from work, eat, and go to bed.  MrH is suffering too. He just isn’t quite himself, and I know the situation must be hard for him. He’s worried about my back. He’s having to do so much extra. He drives me to work and then doubles back to go to work himself. He works through his lunch so he can leave early to come pick me up. …

sleeping pain

What a Relief!

At the moment, I am on the edge.  My pain is barely controlled.  I’m exhausted. I get through work but the effort of doing so through the pain is exhausting.  So today I came home from work and I headed straight up to bed. I took the pain medication I can take and I got into bed. The relief I felt just laying down in bed. I can’t describe it. It was so nice.  Yesterday was the same. I’m exhausted. I’m so sick of being tired. I really am. …

musings cuddle

Sub Drop

I am experiencing sub-drop and Mr H is taking good care of me. He is always my protector, looking out for me, and taking care of me, so after our hotel stay we knew sub drop would be a possibility and have been watchful for it to hit. One of my favourite articles on sub-drop by Jennifer Bene, for anyone who reads this who has never experienced it I urge you to read this regardless of if you are a Dom(me) or sub. Each person …

UTI

UTI aka A Water Infection.

My backs sore, and I feel like I have to pee alot. Looks like I’ve got a water infection or UTI as they are also known. ☹️ Guess I better go and get a test at the drs 😭😭😭😭 They call it the honeymoon illness …. High levels of sexual activity often results in a urinary tract infection (UTI). I also had a hysterectomy 2 years ago and research has shown that this can also increase the instances of UTI suffered. Prior to the hysterectomy …

rules

Acceptance

I’ve broke the rules. I woke up at midnight and couldn’t get back to sleep. After two hours I reasoned that my stomach was hurting because I was hungry and perhaps some cereal would help me fall asleep. Only, I can’t go downstairs for food without waking MrH and getting permission. Dilemma- MrH is/was tired. He woke at 4am on Sunday morning and was tired all day. He has work today and I couldn’t wake him and risk him not being able to get back …