Exploring Kink as a Monogamous Married Couple
The Oxford English Dictionary defines discipline as “the practice of training people to obey rules and orders and punishing them if they do not; the controlled behavior or situation that results from this training”. A few weeks ago we discussed punishment, but how does discipline fit into a D/s dynamic? Setting the rules. When we began our D/s journey I didn’t have any specific rules to follow. In fact when the first rule was created in was following a plea from myself to help me …
For over 22 years Mr H and I were a vanilla couple. Our sex life was lovely, sensual and tender. I would occasionally orgasm, although this was more often than not from masturbation. It didn’t bother me that I didn’t climax every time we made love, I thought this was the normal state of affairs. It was more important to me that Mr H loved me and stood with me. I took pleasure from knowing he enjoyed sex and that I could please him, it …
I have spoken a few times about how I have a tendency to overthink things and how this affects my mental health. The lockdown has I think, had a bad effect on many people judging from some of the comments on twitter and facebook from people who are struggling with feelings of isolation and boredom. I have a theory that having things to do, to occupy your mind is essential to maintaining a stable mental state. I know it doesn’t do for me to be …
A few years ago we had a house fire and candles were banned, but when we began our D/s journey, and I heard about wax play, my curiosity was piqued. For a short time caution outweighed my interest but eventually, as often happens, my curiosity won and a small set of 3 candles was purchased from Amazon. First time wax play? I remember feeling a little nervous as I lay waiting for the first drip of wax to hit my skin, and I have no …
Respect is, in my opinion, one of the cornerstones required for any relationship, not just a D/s one, but how we show that respect can be different from person to person. If an outsider looked in on Mr H and I in the middle of a D/s play session they may feel he shows me no respect at all, for what husband with respect for his wife would call her his slut or whore? Well, one who knows that in the right context these words …
Edge Play, in terms of BDSM, is play which can be seen as extremely risky. Within the BDSM safety is considered paramount, and most practitioners subscribe to either Risk Aware Consensual Kink or Safe Sane and Consensual, edge play is known to be the activities which push the edges of what is safe. Kinky defines it as: Edgeplay refers to BDSM activities that are considered risky, or on the edge of what might be considered safe, sane, and consensual. The definition of edgeplay is subjective …
Codependency is often seen as a negative thing, where one person enables another to bad behaviour or habits, and there is definitely evidence to support this. But I believe that it is possible for codependence to be something positive too. There is a tendency to take a word and give it just one meaning, to reject any other interpretation in favour of it. Submissy has written a brilliant post on how to spot the things that would mean your relationship is unhealthy, and I urge …
What is Love? What is Romance? Two questions that defy a simple answer for every single person has their own concept of them. How I define them would be entirely different to how you do, because they are subjective things. So, with that in mind, I can only really try to explain what they mean to me. Is this Love? Somewhere near the beginning of a new relationship I think we all ask ourselves this question, is this love? Song writers have certainly been able …
I am precious, cherished, loved. Mr H controls his strength and holds back afraid to break me, most of the time. Last year we experimented with him spanking me as hard as he could and he left gorgeous hand prints on my bottom, one side also had a welt for a few days. And, he learned he wouldn’t break me. Although our ears were definitely ringing. Breaking the sound barrier. The sound of his hand as it struck my bottom, wow, honestly the room spun, …
Being in the wrong mindset can ruin a carefully planned scene, and it is as important, for the Dom, as the sub to be in the right frame of mind. If either one of us isn’t feeling it then the chances are it either won’t work out, or it will take a lot of effort to make it work. So, I guess the important questions is: Mindset, what makes it, what breaks it? There are a lot of ways that my state of mind can …