On Being Married and Relationships,On Chronic Pain and Disability,On Everyday Life,Wicked Wednesday

Real love, lockdown and being cared for.

Well hello 2021. Mr. H and I saw in the new year the way we always do, in bed, sleeping. Real Love. That’s what we have, real love. Not fancy, not glamorous. Just real. The UK is locked down again. Not surprising for most of us and yet despite all the restrictions and warnings from the NHS that it is overwhelmed there were still people selfish enough to protest outside a leading hospital, without masks or following social distancing rules, saying covid is a hoax. Well I say lucky them, that their lives have not been touched, lucky them, that they have not lost loved ones. I hope they do not need treatment from the NHS for the virus themselves because if it were up to me I would be very tempted to deny them treatment, after all if it isn’t that serious and doesn’t exist, they won’t need it right? Idiots! Selfish, selfish idiots! Oh, and it’s cold, we have had snow, and my cats are not fans. Come to think of it neither am I.

Updates on Life.

Our son J lost his job the week before Christmas – thank you Asda. No notice, just half way through his shift told that it was his last. The store manager has yet to reply to his email asking for confirmation and his exit documents so he can claim job seekers benefits while he looks for another job. Of course this will be so easy in the middle of a lock down!

Mr. H is still working from home, thank goodness. I am terrified of him becoming ill with Covid. I rely on him so much I do not know how I would manage without him.

Accepting Help.

Our wedding was a civil service and we were not allowed to use ‘In Sickness and Health’ as part of our vows, but Mr. H will often quote this to me when I am feeling low about how much he has to care for me. It isn’t what I envisioned for our lives together, him helping me to dress, helping me to shower, shaving my legs for me. Is it any wonder our sex life is diminished? I am no longer a sexy wife, I am an object to care for, another job to do, a task that needs to be added to a long list of responsibilities. Mr. H is so tired. I see new lines on his face, worries and exhaustion combined. I want to take those worries away but I have no way to do so.

Real Love.

I know Mr. H will read this and he will say he doesn’t mind. He loves me. This I guess is real love. Not the flashy romantic, dozen roses on valentine, expensive gifts and surprise holidays. Anyone can spend money. Not everyone has the wherewithall and gumption to take care of another person, without complaint or hesitation.

He takes on the world and fights for me. When I don’t have the energy to fight on, he picks me up and carries on the fight for me. The wider impact of covid 19 has put such delays on the NHS services that the pain specialist I have been referred to has a minimum of 25 weeks waiting list, and the longer services are diverted to fight covid and clinics put on hold the longer that will be. 25 Weeks. Half a year.

I can’t get physiotherapy from the standard services because they want the pain specialist to organise this.

25 weeks.

6 months.

Waiting.

All this time, he will care for me and love me. That’s real love.

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  

 

  • prioritising intimacy

This post is linked to Wicked Wednesday #449 ‘Looking forward to 2021’ and Monochromerotic #24. Pease click HERE to visit the Wicked Wednesday prompt page where you will find many posts well worth reading, and HERE for Monochromerotic #24 where you will find, not only delightful images to vote for, but the posts to which they belong for you to read

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27 Comments

  1. You are right sweet that is real love and hats off to both you and Mr H for the way that you manage things. You are an example to us all and I hope that things get moving for you again soon so that you are able to do some of the things that you long to do. Much love, missy xx

    1. Thank you

  2. That is real love indeed, Sweet. Every time I read how long you have to wait, and read about your pain and how difficult all is for you, I feel so sad for you that you have to wait so long. I know much at the moment is because of Covid, and really hope for you that the newest lockdown and the vaccine will mean that normal health care will start up again soon and you don’t have to wait so long. I admire your strength to keep on going, even though I know you have to lean on MrH for that when you are low. Your love for each other and your determination will pull you through.
    ~ Marie xox

    1. Thank you

  3. Great to read you Sweet
    You guys certainly have real love – and I wish you would be able to get some REAL treatment too

    Thinking of you lots – msg anytime u fancy a chat
    May xx
    May More recently posted…Sniffing knickers, disconnection & survivalMy Profile

    1. Thank you x

  4. What a wonderful husband you have Sweet. So much love! Once again you have moved me with your writing.

    1. Thank you he is one in a million.

      1. It’s good to read your post again, happy new year. Beautiful photo, it really goes well with the post and shows the love around you.
        Littlegem recently posted…Sin-derella – A Christmas playMy Profile

        1. Thank you x

  5. I am very glad that Mr. X cares so much about you and supports you. This is called a Real Man. Give him my regards and my best wishes!

    1. Me too, and I certainly will

  6. Lovely loving photo in color or b&w, so nice to see you.
    elliott henry recently posted…Sexy in Lace… Guest PostMy Profile

    1. Thank you x

  7. Wonderful that you felt you wanted to write Sweet, I am sorry that you have so much strife and challenge in your life right now.

    What a wonderful man you have standing behind you )as in your gorgeous picture) beside you in everything you need to do/achieve and in front of you defending you from the shit and danger life might throw. You know it and you’re grateful.More of us should be like you – I am feeling quite ashamed reading strong posts like yours and missy’s that I am probably leaning on my man & taking him for granted. I shall show him real love and gratitude – thanks for you stellar example.
    Posy Churchgate recently posted…If Only We Had Known …My Profile

    1. Thank you

  8. Johnny says:

    Lovely words sincerely meant…
    At this horrible time for so many to have a friend or partner (or both) close by to love cherish and react with is so important.
    It’s inspiring to read these snippets of your lives together the good and the bad and it’s wonderful to open up to others and share views and create banter on all subjects not just fetish based.
    Thanks for your open honesty
    Stay safe everyone

    1. Thank you I’m glad you enjoy reading my blog and hope you too stay safe and well.

  9. I am glad that you have such a loving and caring husband. Let adversity pass and everything will be fine with you. You definitely deserve it.

    1. Thank you

  10. […] chronic pain escalated to such a degree that I can’t work any more, I’ve written about this before and of course that is another reason why I have reduced how much I write – who wants to read […]

  11. Your story, again, follows ours. Yes, that is true and deep abiding love. He and I are both disabled so yes, the ‘sexy’ has wore off, and the bed is not as hot, but we abide, cherish, love, and do for each other while dreaming and sharing together of what we wish we could do!

    1. Thank you for your comment, as MrH says to me, in sickness and health, he’s here for the long haul. We are working on adapting to our situation and making sure we live life to the full.

  12. Good one, I really enjoyed the post. Thanks for posting.

  13. Your story is beautiful…

    1. Thank you

  14. […] Real love, lockdown and being cared for. […]

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