I have had many friends throughout the years but I do not have any life long friends. I have often said that people come into your life for one of two reasons, either they are there to help you, or you are there to help them. Vanilla Friends. I seem to have many friends who have been placed in my path who have taken from me in some way. DD Jen recently used the term “bond or burden” in her post Can I watch you have …
Friday Thoughts
It is Friday today, and I am laying in bed wondering what is going to happen next. Yesterday’s appointment with the specialist was strange and it has created new challenges. I am going to have to work hard to keep my thoughts positive and not get too down. Thoughts on Consultants We went to see the consultant and one of the major hospitals in the area. I have only seen three consultants in my life who have actually “examined” me, and that makes me cross …
Self Employment
Over the last few years I have toyed with the idea of self employment, mainly because I find my health so unpredictable that attending work regularly becomes difficult. The problem being, when you are self employed you have to work or you do not earn. Less Pressure? But self employment could ultimately mean less pressure. Granted, I would have deadlines, but, I can type my pretty arse off in my own time. Especially when I can take my time to do it. If I do …
You won’t break me
I am precious, cherished, loved. Mr H controls his strength and holds back afraid to break me, most of the time. Last year we experimented with him spanking me as hard as he could and he left gorgeous hand prints on my bottom, one side also had a welt for a few days. And, he learned he wouldn’t break me. Although our ears were definitely ringing. Breaking the sound barrier. The sound of his hand as it struck my bottom, wow, honestly the room spun, …
Chronic Pain update
If you are a regular follower you will know I suffer from chronic back pain and that this has become a life affecting condition. I am unable to so so many things that a healthy person takes for granted and that includes riding Mr H cock! One of the things I sometimes enjoy is knowing that I have brought him to climax as I sometimes feels very unfair that he always does the hard work. Chronic Pain treatment plan. Yesterday I had an appointment with …
Reflecting on – well everything
I said I wasn’t going to do this. A old year reflection, a new year plan. I don’t like it. Plans suck. Plans don’t happen. At least for me. So reflecting on 2019 all I see is a long list of failed plans. And that sucks. The things that didn’t happen A biking holiday in Scotland More Biking in general Several Hotel Stays Attending a rope workshop Going to a BDSM event Going out for a meal with some girlfriends Turning a bedroom into a …
PIP Assessment
Personal Independence Payment, that’s what PIP stands for. I had my PIP assessment done on the 27th. It replaced Disability Living Allowance a few years ago and as my pain and mobility has been seriously affected this year I have applied for this state benefit. In all honesty I would rather not apply for benefits. I like to be independent, you know? But, I have also lost £150 per week in income when I stopped working full time hours, and that is not an easy …
Equipment to Help Around The Home
On Friday, I was visited by a lovely lady, who came to see what adjustments could be made to our home, or equipment they would suggest, to make things easier for me around the house. She was really nice, sympathetic and kind. Even better she carries some equipment on her so after the assessment she left things with us. I wrote about the kind of things we hoped she would suggest in my post Opening Doors. So what did she suggest? Bathroom Equipment. The first piece …
Might not will
There is a difference between the words ‘might’ and ‘will’ but my brain has trouble with this. No, I’m serious and I bet I am not the only one… Let me give you an example. On Thursday night MrH said his tummy hurt and I asked if he wanted something to ease it. He said he did not and I responded with “OK” and dropped it. Normally I would have followed up with an “are you sure?” but I did not. As a result he …
I don’t want to be disabled
I have written before about how I struggle when Mr H has to work on a Saturday, how I get anxious to an, in all honestly unhealthy level and if you follow my blog you will know Mr H has been in hospital this week. He isn’t home yet, but hopefully he is home today. I have coped emotionally, my anxiety has been normal and healthy, focused on Mr H and stay in hospital and him getting better. What I don’t like is how much …