Exploring Kink as a Monogamous Married Couple
I’ve loved my boobs for years. I have a great cleavage, and they have always been show stoppers… I used them to great effects college, especially when there was a debate going on. Leaning forward over the desk and looking at whoever was speaking (fellow student or some lecturers) and they would invariably loose their train of thought. Except MrH. He would keep his eyes on mine and hold his ground. He fascinated me. He still does. He also loves my boobs. Just yesterday he …
I’ve made many, many, many mistakes in my life and I’m sure I will make more… some big and some small. Getting married at 18 to the “wrong” man – as you do at 18 – was a doozy. Now I don’t mean that I regret having my eldest, because I don’t, I was already pregnant when we were encouraged to get married so I would still have had my little boy, I just wouldn’t have had to go through a divorce. Opportunities to Learn …
Mr H and I have been D/s for almost 2 years, but roleplay is one area we have not dabbled in – unless you count the strip tease dance I did for Mr H. We have talked about it but while I am quite able to slip into a character and pretend, Mr H is not. He struggles with the concept and it is far outside his comfort zone. Someone suggested I come up with a script for him to follow, and on the surface …
MrH reads my posts. This is my journal after all and one of its functions is to give him insight into my tangled thoughts. Especially the ones where I haven’t been able to articulate them to him in person. Reading my mind My two recent posts Horny as Hell and Impossible? fall into the that category. Going further back, some of my recent posts (Sexy Cardigan?, Out of it, & I want…. ) were clumsy attempts to tell Mr H that things weren’t right. Of …
Following on from my post Horny as Hell I feel I need to explain myself… the post may have come across as if I am unhappy with my lot and as if Mr H isn’t making me happy. That isn’t exactly correct. I am happy with Mr H. I just struggle with my expectations and reality. I like being submissive. It took years to find that was my happy state. What I want is for Mr H to control that. I want to feel submissive …
I want him. I want him in me. I want him to fuck me – hard and fast and often.  It feels lately as if we don’t play much anymore.  In the early months, the frenzy months, we couldn’t get enough of each other. We exchanged dirty messages. I would come home from work and often I would be allowed to suck Sirs cock when he came in. The Frenzy Passed Then things calmed down a little and we fell into a routine. We generally had sex …
Well- not that I went anywhere particularly- but I mean the consultant has put me back on Tramadol slow release and once again my pain is manageable. I’m also awake! Actually that’s the only down side…. for me tramadol isn’t a sedative, it’s a stimulant. It doesn’t affect everyone this way just a small percentage, and lucky me, I’m one! Unfortunately this means I struggle to sleep…. I take a lower dose overnight but until I get used to it again I’m struggling to sleep. …
Last night Mr H and I played. It had been a while and I felt nervous and awkward. I wanted to play, really wanted to. But when play began I felt awkward and not in the moment.  It began when Mr H put my night collar on. The TV was playing and as he started running his hands over me, the conversation on the TV invaded my mind. I shook my head to try and shake it off but it didn’t work. He asked me what …
When I asked MrH to explore BDSM with me I didn’t really know where it would lead. In my mind I painted a picture of what it would be like and how it would work. The reality was quite different. 100% better than I thought possible. I have found that I need his dominance to make me feel good. I need him to be in control to feel secure. I need to feel taken care of to feel safe. I need to know I am accountable to feel …
This blog started as an online extension/version of a written journal that I began shortly after Mr H and I started down the route of Dom and sub. One of the online community/sites we had joined SubMrs had an number of article/resources about journaling and communication and I decided I would use this medium to record my thoughts. Mr H would read it and this would then open a discussion. A way to communicate We didn’t stay with that particular site long. I found that …