brown leaf trees on forest

What is so special about Autumn?

Autumn, that wonderful time of year when the leaves turn golden brown and russet red. The birds start to migrate south, the temperature drops and the nights get longer. I have always had an affinity with Autumn, probably because my birthday is in October, but I just love the colours that can be seen in nature during this time of year. This has not always been the case though.

Season of Sadness

Several years ago that all changed. Seven days after my birthday my dad passed away. It was sudden. It was devastating. His funeral was held on bonfire night. For many years afterwards the arrival of my birthday caused a downward spiral in my mood as the anniversary of his passing approached which would linger until mid November. It took a long time to overcome this but the last few years I have found this easier.

I think this ease has come in part from the peace I found in D/s. On some level I always feared that Mr H would leave, and that fear I believe stems from the way I was taken from my dad at the age of 5 when my parents divorced. From then on I saw him once a week and in between my life was filled with emotional and physical abuse. My mum told me constantly that my dad didn’t want me and my step dad just didn’t like girls.

I am His.

I began this blog, in November 2017 as a way to process the intense feelings submission was bringing out, and as we navigated the vast world of BDSM and Kink we had to discuss what we wanted and what we didn’t. There were many nightmares had I can tell you but they too have lessened as I have come to realize Mr H does truly want me. Something I do find quite amazing.

What does all this have to do with Autumn?

I suppose to me Autumn is a time for reflection. Mr H and I are just getting back into D/s and I am a little more comfortable, due to the medication adjustment, which is giving us more freedom. I am reminded, as the leaves change and fall from the trees, that sometimes we must shed part of ourselves in order to rest. Sometimes it is the only way we can survive the harsh winter, and while on the outside we look bare we are, in fact, protecting our core selves for the future.

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  

 

  • photography of maple trees

This post was inspired by Wicked Wednesday #491 “Autumn” click HERE to read other posts inspired by the topic.

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16 Comments

  1. Good to see you sweet. Great to hear the meds are giving you some relief and the D/s is returning
    lilly
    Lilly recently posted…Priceless!My Profile

    1. Thank you

  2. Love you are back sweet – have soooo missed your words xx

    1. Thank you x

  3. Thank you for sharing this with us, Sweetgirl. I am very moved by your story. I am happy to see you back in this space and look forward to reading more. Be well, my friend <3

    1. Thank you

  4. This is a lovely post sweet. Your writing is always so honest and heartfelt. I too am glad to have you back xx

    1. Thank you

  5. “I am reminded, as the leaves change and fall from the trees, that sometimes we must shed part of ourselves in order to rest. Sometimes it is the only way we can survive the harsh winter, and while on the outside we look bare we are, in fact, protecting our core selves for the future.”

    This is SO beautiful, Sweet, and especially the first sentence hit me like a hammer. Autumn is a beautiful seasin, and indeed, a time of reflection.
    ~ Marie xox

    1. I hope the hammer didn’t leave a mark! And, Thank you
      Sweet x

  6. David says:

    So glad to see you back again!

    1. Thank you

  7. I love the idea of Autumn as a time for reflection. So much is changing – the weather, the trees, the temperature. It’s the perfect time to take stock.
    Kristan X recently posted…OpeningMy Profile

    1. Thank you.

  8. Oh but that last part is spot on! I often see this as hibernation season. I gather myself and head inward. While the beginning of the school year is busy and takes me too much out of myself, November is about the time I begin to fold in on myself and begin to make the necessary adjustments I must to simplify and survive. I, too, shed much at this point in the year. I focus on what matters, having often let go of that by focusing too much on work.

    1. Xx

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