Exploring Kink as a Monogamous Married Couple
Maintaining a healthy mental state, is quite a challenge, at least it is for me. I take medication daily which works well to stabilise my mood. I’ve been medicated for depression and anxiety since 2005, essentially 18 months after my dad passed away. I had a full blown breakdown in 2005. I stopped working. I stopped functioning. I stopped doing pretty much everything. I spent 3 years getting better. I spent 3 years learning to deal with rough seas. It wasn’t all doom and gloom. In fact …
I didn’t think I’d ever been a victim of gaslighting, but after reading the post by Swirling Fire and looking at the image included (below) I realised I had actually been a victim of this 3 times…. The First Time The first time… that started when I was a child. With my mum and stepdad. To this day I say “sorry” for everything. If you bump into me, I say sorry. If you get angry, at anything, I say sorry. If you are tired, I …
It’s 2pm and I’m sat waiting for MrH to say it’s time to go. Earlier today I got a sudden attack of nerves, almost panic. I didn’t know what to pack. I didn’t know what to expect. It feels like such a long time since we went away to this hotel and this is where MrH feels most relaxed and able to play. We stay in a suite of rooms. It’s our little spoil. We stay dinner, bed and breakfast (half board) and the food there …
I’ve made no secret of the fact that I live with depression, I have for many years. I started to crawl out of the dark pit of despair in 2008 after 3 years of living in darkness. What I don’t talk about (partly because it’s not my story exactly) is the day in 2012 when my son came home and said “when I see a car driving down the road towards me I just want to jump in front of it so it will be …
These two words are a lie. Almost every (and I’m going to say it) woman who utters these two words just lied. Add in a mental illness and everyone, man or woman, who says it – lied, but we would rather lie than inflict our pain on someone else. We would rather hide behind the lie than face the truth and say it. I am not fine. It took me years to get the courage to be honest when someone asked me “are you ok?” Because “I’m tired” …
Every morning I look through my WordPress feed as I wait to go to work, and this morning there was a post by SubMissy Control Freak that really touched me. So much I decided to share something of my own. I have my own struggles with mental health and promoting awareness is something I feel strongly about. In 2003 my father died, suddenly. He was 51 and he had a massive heart attack. After the postmortem we discovered that he had in fact had many …
Sometimes life pulls us in a direction we don’t like. Sometimes we drift like a ship without an anchor. Sometimes we talk utter rubbish…. Right now I’m really struggling (again). I’ve been faced with behaviour at work that I’m not comfortable with. A level of deceit that I don’t like. A certain amount of aggression that frightens me and some unreasonable attitudes that have caused me many sleepless nights and anxious days. MrH wants me to look for another job, everyone I’ve discussed it in detail with, …
Tomorrow we’re going to our first BDSM event. I’m getting hair and makeup done and I’ve had my nails manicured and my brows waxed and tinted today. I’m about 45% nervous 55% excited. Oh and I’m so horny again! Work has settled into place this week and I’ve been able to relax into a routine. That has lessened my daily stress and this in turn has allowed me to bring my focus back to MrH. Naturally that leads to me being wanton and horny. Yesterday …
It’s been one year and a bit since we became a D/s couple. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m also more terrified. I’m so terrified that it will end. Frightened it’s been a wonderful illusion. Scared the passion will evaporate. So scared it makes me a little crazy. For years our relationship drifted along. We were happy enough, and we had good sex. Not often mind you – everyday life got in the way. We were tired. We didn’t make the effort. My self …
I shared a post a few weeks ago about squirting orgasms in “Overcoming Embarrassment” and I thought I needed to write a follow up. While I spoke in this earlier post about being embarrassed that I had wet the bed. While I have experienced these orgasms through masturbation I haven’t during play with MrH. This has prompted me to wonder… Why? I believe it’s because I’m ashamed and embarrassed. I believe I hold back frightened that MrH would be disgusted if he were covered or touched …