I think all relationships have complications. Some may be insurmountable and the relationships end, others less so and the relationship adapts or compromises are made.
I am going to speak in general terms here for a moment and so please bear with me, I know not every young person is the same.
I believe when we are young we are less likely to consider compromise as a way to solve a complication in a relationship. I think when we are young we think in terms of black and white, ignoring the shades of grey in between.
As we get older we see the world differently and are more likely to be able to look at the big picture, to consider a compromise, and work to resolve a complex problem with our partner.
I think I’m lucky that my relationship with MrH isn’tcomplicated. My relationship with his mum is, but for different reasons.
I’ve spoken about the relationship I have with my mum in my post Count yourself lucky but I have an equally complicated relationship with my mother in law. She doesn’t seem to like or approve of me. I tried for years to get her to but to no avail. MrH doesn’t take me to her house anymore which does sometimes upset me, because it can feel like he is ashamed of me, that she doesn’t want me there and so he leave me at home to make her happy, but I know in reality it’s because he finds his mum easier to deal with alone. Still I wish I could go with him sometimes.
The external complications used to stress me out. I worried a lot. I still do sometimes but mostly I manage them. I love my mum but our relationship isn’t what I wish it could be. I’d like to be able to spend time with her clothes shopping, or such, but we don’t do that. Partly because my stepfather hates it (he resents time she spends away from him) and partly because it always ends up feeling like I’ve been told off. My mum is one of those who has to belittle others. She couldn’t say that looks lovely she would have to say that’s nice it’s a shame you didn’t get rid of the backside when you lost that weight.
So for sanity’s sake I don’t do it.
In our home, MrH likes peace and simplicity and so the atmosphere is calm. It’s a sanctuary from the outside world.