Writing about Love, Life, Marriage,

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Kinky Fuckery!

(among other things........)

Would I lie to you?

Well would you? Would you?  I would.  In fact I do, all the time.  I lie to myself daily, hourly even.  There are times when the lies are all I have.  The biggest and most frequent one.  I’m fine.

People ask me, “how are you?” They don’t want the truth, they want a lie, they expect a lie.  If you tell them the truth too much they hide away from it, and you.  They don’t want to hear that it hurts so bad I feel sick, or that I just wet myself because I didn’t know I needed to go.  No that is too much truth.  They want to hear, “I’m fine.”

The truth is costly

I wrote a little bit about this a while back for the meme Sex Bloggers for Mental Health called  I’m fine…. when I talked about how it took me years to tell the truth.  The thing is as much as I do tell the truth it comes at a price.  Over the years telling the truth has cost me a lot of friends.  People stop visiting and calling.  They stop because they do not want to think about the things you are going through, after all they have their own challenges to get through and their own lies to tell.

Does that mean I tell children that Santa isn’t real?

Absolutely not!  The prompt asks about Santa and white lies, which is why I want to just address that for a moment.  I think that as a rule children grow up far too quickly and make believe is an important part of that.  Santa, the tooth fairy, fairy dust and magic all exist in the mind of a child and it should be encouraged and protected, for as long as possible.  Childhood is important, but at the same time there is a balancing act, because when they ask questions, then we owe them the truth.  You have to know when to tell them the truth because if you do it too soon you are ending their childhood, on the other hand, if they are asking you a question they already know the answer to, because they are testing you and you lie, you have lost their trust forever.

I’d Lie for you but never to you

MrH is an honest man.  He has never (to my knowledge) lied to me.  I can’t say the same.  My card is not white.  It’s a murky grey.  Things I have bought (pre D/s) well that’s a whopping list of lies.  Although I am almost positive MrH saw through most of them.  Then there is the orgasm lie.  I have also spoken about this before – how I used to fake orgasms – and again, MrH has said he suspected that too; he figured no-one was that good apparently.

The thing is, he kinda is that good.  Since our D/s journey began there are not many times I haven’t climaxed, quite often more than once too.  So, imagine how good it could have been for the previous 22 years, and how good it would be at this point if he had known for all that time what got me off?  My lie ultimately hurt me too.

So with the introduction of D/s I made my own promise to myself, that I would not lie to him again.  I would lie for him but never to him.

Sweetgirl x

Sweet Autumn Rose  

 

This post is linked to Food 4 Thought #128 ‘Lies’, click HERE to see more posts inspired by the topic.

6 thoughts on “Would I lie to you?”

  1. I think I’d lied to myself more than anybody else! Im fine! Yes, all good! Of course I’m happy! rtc etc…For the first time in my life I can tell the truth about how I feel. What I want. What I love to do and have done to me. I’ve never thought about it before you wrote that post! Excellent! Thank you so much.
    Xxxx
    Naomi

  2. I tell the same “I’m fine” lie too…going into details is often exhausting and not worth the effort. At a certain point, people expect the chronic illness to be healed or to have just gone away, so there’s a lot of “you’re still sick?” attitude if I am honest with how I am doing. It’s more comfortable for people to believe the lie than to hear the truth.

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