Hardly. We stayed at a friends house last night to keep her cat company. She has just moved house and her cat is elderly, so we offered to go stay rather than stress her out at a cattery. We took our fire stick and used my phones WiFi hotspot to connect it to the internet. Her internet wasn’t yet set up at the new house. Cat sitting My friends bed is very comfortable but she has a double – we are used to a king. …
I wanna be..
In my earliest recollections when I was asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I would answer “a mum.” I would play games in the playground pretending to push a pram (it was invisible) with my friends who were all pushing their prams too. When I got a little older, my mum gave me some Mills & Boon books to read. She liked medical romances and I soon decided I wanted to be “a nurse.” There was a slight flaw in …
Mistakes?
I’ve made many, many, many mistakes in my life and I’m sure I will make more… some big and some small. Getting married at 18 to the “wrong” man – as you do at 18 – was a doozy. Now I don’t mean that I regret having my eldest, because I don’t, I was already pregnant when we were encouraged to get married so I would still have had my little boy, I just wouldn’t have had to go through a divorce. Opportunities to Learn …
I’m sorry
MrH reads my posts. This is my journal after all and one of its functions is to give him insight into my tangled thoughts. Especially the ones where I haven’t been able to articulate them to him in person. Reading my mind My two recent posts Horny as Hell and Impossible? fall into the that category. Going further back, some of my recent posts (Sexy Cardigan?, Out of it, & I want…. ) were clumsy attempts to tell Mr H that things weren’t right. Of …
Impossible?
Following on from my post Horny as Hell I feel I need to explain myself… the post may have come across as if I am unhappy with my lot and as if Mr H isn’t making me happy. That isn’t exactly correct. I am happy with Mr H. I just struggle with my expectations and reality. I like being submissive. It took years to find that was my happy state. What I want is for Mr H to control that. I want to feel submissive …
Shoes, submission and man points
This blog started as an online extension/version of a written journal that I began shortly after Mr H and I started down the route of Dom and sub. One of the online community/sites we had joined SubMrs had an number of article/resources about journaling and communication and I decided I would use this medium to record my thoughts. Mr H would read it and this would then open a discussion. A way to communicate We didn’t stay with that particular site long. I found that …
Oh fudge!
Or something similar….. I ordered some shoes. I didn’t ask permission. I have no idea why I didn’t ask, I usually do. The only exception is if I’ve ordered things for work and then we haven’t paid for them or we’re getting the money back. I’ve been looking for some shoes for work for about 6 weeks now. I needed some flat but not really flat shoes. That might not seem to make sense but honestly it does! Some flat shoes have really thin soles and they …
Tell Me About: Trust
Normally I wouldn’t use the phrase “must” or “should” in relation to BDSM. Normally I would say do what works for you. But, in this one thing I am going to. In my opinion you cannot and should not be in any form of BDSM relationship without Trust. Whether it’s Bondage, Discipline, Dominance and submission, Sadism or Masochism, every aspect requires Trust. The Basics In the beginning, I believed M rH and I Trusted each other. I opened the door to D/s and that Trust …
Reflecting on the A to Z Challenge
I did it. The whole alphabet. I couldn’t have done it if I hadn’t spent the weekends preparing a number of posts in advance. It was an interesting challenge but not one I will do again. I prefer writing about things as they happen to me, as I think about them, or when something inspires me. It is my “journal” after all. Here are links to each post.
Blogging from A2Z 2019: Tears
If you’re familiar with my blog you’ll be aware that I have regular emotional meltdowns. Sub-drop after particularly intense play can feel quite brutal. I feel so needy and desperate for Mr H to touch and reassure me but I’m also unable to articulate it well. Usually this results in tears and then cuddles. I also get separation anxiety. When Mr H is at work on a Saturday or away from home (no matter where he is) I get anxious. That anxiety usually manifests in sadness, …