Letting go of learned behaviours must be one of the hardest things to do. I say this because at 45 I still struggle to leave food on my plate, and no matter how I try when I put clothes on I immediately focus on how big my backside and hips are. These things are leftovers from my childhood that resurface over and over again.
One of the reasons I am refocusing on losing weight is because I know it impacts my mental health negatively when I am over weight. Rationally and logically I know beauty isn’t defined by size, but I feel better in myself when I am not overweight and it will make the upcoming surgery and subsequent recovery much easier if I am not overweight.
Plan, plan, plan.
I tend to over think things, and writing things down helps me to process negative or unhelpful thoughts. I’m dyslexic and the written information is something I process better than auditory information, and in 2008 when my dyslexia was diagnosed and I was told how it affected my brain I was able to make adjustments to how I do things. For example, writing down someone’s name against an office desk plan means I will learn their name faster than trying to simply remember it.
I know therefore that if I write a menu for the week and shop appropriately, Mr. H will cook the required meals. If we have a menu plan we tend not to over eat, order takeaways or indulge on unhealthy foods. Mr.H likes to have a plan and I like to plan and create visual aids.
Yesterday I was playing about with some word images, and I did one of things to focus on, and another of things that I need to let go of, things out of my control, things to stop doing. Perhaps this inspires you to make your own?
Letting Go of Anxiety.
Letting go of negative thoughts, has led me to ask a few questions of Mr. H that I have always wondered about, but was afraid to ask. When we met we were at college, and we caught the same bus to campus. Yesterday I asked him if he ever looked for me, at the bus stop to see if I was there. I remember I would get on the bus with T who was almost 3 when we met, and Mr. H would be looking down or out of the window. I would sit near him and say hello, at which point he would look up. I had always thought I was the one who noticed him, watched him, in all honesty I kinda stalked him! This is something I have wanted to ask but didn’t want him to say, “no not really,” I mean that’s not romantic is it?!
Anyway yesterday, almost 25 years after the events, I got the answer. “I saw you. The day you started college, I saw you get on the bus. Then you walked into the classroom. I looked for you at the bus stop, in your green trench coat with the pushchair, I could see you a mile away.”
I can’t fully explain how this makes me happy, or why, but it does. He saw me first. He noticed me, when I thought I was unremarkable, he thought differently. He went home that day and told his mum about me. She must have sensed something for she warned him off, saying she didn’t want ready made grandchildren, but I think she must have known that Mr. H, like the grey wolf, mates for life.
I am and always will be a work in progress, but I do think that is healthy. Really, we should be constantly willing and ready to learn, change and evolve, because life is on going, always moving forward and we must move with it. Even now, when I am, like many others, physically still, my mind needs stimulation. I do online training and difficult crochet projects to challenge me. And, all the while with each achievement I am able to say, I did that, and I did it well.
The small victories like these all help to give me a sense of accomplisment and promotes an inner calm I probably wouldn’t have otherwise, given the prediciment I am in.
Every night I take a few moments to remind myself of everything I have to be thankful for, letting go of the days worries.
Weight Loss News.
I know you are all waiting with baited breath to find out if I have lost weight this week, just kidding, I know it is the last thing on your mind! Well, I am going to tell you anyway. I lost 5 and a half pounds. Naturally I am happy with this LOL.
I’ve included an image of Mr. H and I walking on the beach, as this months topic for my photo meme is Sun, Sea and Sand. The prompt is optional and anyone can take part.
This post is linked to two memes, please click on the names to visit each and see more posts linked to the topics. Personal Growth Matters, “chatchup week” and Fun Theme Photo Meme, “Sun, Sea and Sand”