Exploring Kink as a Monogamous Married Couple
Today is my birthday, and I am 45 years old. I don’t generally celebrate my birthday, I’ve had so many disappointing birthdays where people I thought were friends cancelled plans with me that I learned to protect myself by not making any. 21st birthday Take my 21st birthday, at the time I had only 1 close friend, and we had planned to go out for a night of dancing. The day before she told me she couldn’t make it, I can’t remember the excuse she …
My dad passed away suddenly in 2003, from a massive heart attack, and I know I’ve talked about this before but, about a year or so after he passed I woke up from a vivid dream, sobbing. Now I don’t know if you or even if I believe it’s possible that loved ones who have died can come and visit you in your dreams, but that night, well you decide…… I was dancing with my dad, like I did when I was little, standing on …
I’ve had many awkward moments in my life, and not all of them linked to kink, in fact most of them come from my vanilla life. Kids. There was the time T walked into the bedroom carrying a very large kitchen knife and an apple (he was 3). Mr H and I were having sex, and he wanted the apple peeled. Mr H calmly peeled the apple and T went back downstairs to watch his movie. Then there was the time when T was about …
Mr H likes making things, although he is never fully satisfied with the outcome I think the things he creates are beautiful. Within a Kink context, MrH has made me collars, jewelry, accessories and he has made himself impact toys. When he starts a new project he gets out his crafts box, working away and concentrating. I can see the calm enjoyment settle over him and the happiness when the project is done. He has made things with paracord and chainmaille (aluminium and Sterling silver). …
Our plans for this week originally began with 2 nights away at our favourite hotel. Those two nights would have been filled with sex and rope and impact play. We would have dined in the restaurant, loved each other and laughed in a bubble. Instead we moved T and J into their new home and the hotel has been cancelled. Best laid plans. We focused on the following week. Making plans to get our playroom set up and painted. We could play and have a …
I really wasn’t sure I could write for this prompt. It feels too close, too raw, but i decided to just put down a few lines and link my recent posts so I’m not repeating myself too much. Both our sons have now considered suicide, our youngest just a Few weeks ago. T battled the impulse for years (When your children suffer), I’m hoping that J will not. T refused to take medication. J takes it. I have had my own mental health battles, (I …
Today J is heartbroken, fuming and disappointed. The university rescinded the offer of a place. They have given him 3 reasons for their decision. One of his qualifications wasn’t what he thought it was and so he doesn’t have the required UCAS points to automatically qualify. The man who processed his application made a mistake and put that he had a level 3 qualification which he doesn’t. When the course tutor reviewed the application they decided that he didn’t have a strong enough background yet. …
Today we went to the seaside with J and his best friend A, (the young lady we have pretty much adopted into our family). As I was saying we went to the seaside. The plan was simply to walk up and down the beach. Feeling the sand under our bare feet, paddling in the sea and soaking up some vitamin D. While we were there A wanted to take some pictures, and so we posed for a couple. Mr H and I walked ahead of …
I use my blog to get my thoughts down on virtual paper and stop them from swirling around, my own version of the spanish inquisition, where I interrogate myself endlessly. Things have been rough for Mr H and I recently. Not in our relationship or in D/s terms, no, in fact I think that has helped us to weather it. This weeks Food 4 Thought prompt asks why do you write? Writing helps me process. I also hope that perhaps in some way the ups …
I’m drained. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. I want to curl up and cry. Mr H knows I’m not ok, and he’s worried but I don’t know how to fix me, I don’t know what I need. I feel distant and disconnected, from myself and everything. The last few weeks (months?) have caught up with me. Drained by life. I’ve had a few friends I haven’t been able to connect with/talk to because, well they are busy and have their own things to deal with, but I miss …