Exploring Kink as a Monogamous Married Couple
The power exchange between Mr H and myself is at the core of what we do. When we started D/s and I asked Mr H to take control I didn’t realise how much it would change our lives. I definitely didn’t realise how much better our lives would become. What was it like before? Before, I tried to control every aspect of our lives. Where we went out to (when we went out). What we bought. When we had sex. The only thing in our …
Hardly. We stayed at a friends house last night to keep her cat company. She has just moved house and her cat is elderly, so we offered to go stay rather than stress her out at a cattery. We took our fire stick and used my phones WiFi hotspot to connect it to the internet. Her internet wasn’t yet set up at the new house. Cat sitting My friends bed is very comfortable but she has a double – we are used to a king. …
When I was 5 my parents divorced. My mum went to live with another man who took upon the role of step father. His parenting style wasn’t great. I’ve written about it before and don’t want to focus on that now. I don’t know what growing up with my biological father would have been like because I had limited contact with him after that. The role of the father. I think over the last 30 years there has been a shift in the participation of fathers in …
MrH reads my posts. This is my journal after all and one of its functions is to give him insight into my tangled thoughts. Especially the ones where I haven’t been able to articulate them to him in person. Reading my mind My two recent posts Horny as Hell and Impossible? fall into the that category. Going further back, some of my recent posts (Sexy Cardigan?, Out of it, & I want…. ) were clumsy attempts to tell Mr H that things weren’t right. Of …
Following on from my post Horny as Hell I feel I need to explain myself… the post may have come across as if I am unhappy with my lot and as if Mr H isn’t making me happy. That isn’t exactly correct. I am happy with Mr H. I just struggle with my expectations and reality. I like being submissive. It took years to find that was my happy state. What I want is for Mr H to control that. I want to feel submissive …
When I asked MrH to explore BDSM with me I didn’t really know where it would lead. In my mind I painted a picture of what it would be like and how it would work. The reality was quite different. 100% better than I thought possible. I have found that I need his dominance to make me feel good. I need him to be in control to feel secure. I need to feel taken care of to feel safe. I need to know I am accountable to feel …
Or something similar….. I ordered some shoes. I didn’t ask permission. I have no idea why I didn’t ask, I usually do. The only exception is if I’ve ordered things for work and then we haven’t paid for them or we’re getting the money back. I’ve been looking for some shoes for work for about 6 weeks now. I needed some flat but not really flat shoes. That might not seem to make sense but honestly it does! Some flat shoes have really thin soles and they …
Normally I wouldn’t use the phrase “must” or “should” in relation to BDSM. Normally I would say do what works for you. But, in this one thing I am going to. In my opinion you cannot and should not be in any form of BDSM relationship without Trust. Whether it’s Bondage, Discipline, Dominance and submission, Sadism or Masochism, every aspect requires Trust. The Basics In the beginning, I believed M rH and I Trusted each other. I opened the door to D/s and that Trust …
I did it. The whole alphabet. I couldn’t have done it if I hadn’t spent the weekends preparing a number of posts in advance. It was an interesting challenge but not one I will do again. I prefer writing about things as they happen to me, as I think about them, or when something inspires me. It is my “journal” after all. Here are links to each post.
It’s 2pm and I’m sat waiting for MrH to say it’s time to go. Earlier today I got a sudden attack of nerves, almost panic. I didn’t know what to pack. I didn’t know what to expect. It feels like such a long time since we went away to this hotel and this is where MrH feels most relaxed and able to play. We stay in a suite of rooms. It’s our little spoil. We stay dinner, bed and breakfast (half board) and the food there …