Exploring Kink as a Monogamous Married Couple
There is one thing that truly frightens me, an incomprehensible paralyzing fear, and that is that Mr H will leave me.There have been many things (fears) in my life that have given me sleepless nights. Some have passed with time, some rear their heads time and again. Spiders It’s a cliche right? To be frightened by spiders… I mean in a silly, heart pounding, panic sort of way. Once I see the thing I can’t take my eyes off it, because the only thing more …
Today we went to the seaside with J and his best friend A, (the young lady we have pretty much adopted into our family). As I was saying we went to the seaside. The plan was simply to walk up and down the beach. Feeling the sand under our bare feet, paddling in the sea and soaking up some vitamin D. While we were there A wanted to take some pictures, and so we posed for a couple. Mr H and I walked ahead of …
A wank bank refers to a selection of images that are regularly used for visual stimuli during masterbation. Mr H often refers to some of the pictures we take as being ‘one for the wank bank’ which never fails to make me smile. I mean who wouldn’t be happy to know that their husband finds them to be arousing and sexy? The following is a conversation that happened a few days ago between Mr H and myself, which resulted in one such picture. One for …
I use my blog to get my thoughts down on virtual paper and stop them from swirling around, my own version of the spanish inquisition, where I interrogate myself endlessly. Things have been rough for Mr H and I recently. Not in our relationship or in D/s terms, no, in fact I think that has helped us to weather it. This weeks Food 4 Thought prompt asks why do you write? Writing helps me process. I also hope that perhaps in some way the ups …
I’m drained. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. I want to curl up and cry. Mr H knows I’m not ok, and he’s worried but I don’t know how to fix me, I don’t know what I need. I feel distant and disconnected, from myself and everything. The last few weeks (months?) have caught up with me. Drained by life. I’ve had a few friends I haven’t been able to connect with/talk to because, well they are busy and have their own things to deal with, but I miss …
Since we began our D/s journey Mr H and I have made some amazing friends. We have met some in real life, some we will likely never meet due to the logistics (they live abroad), and some, who we hope to meet at next years Eroticon. I think, like most we initially chatted to people online. Mr H chose communities for us to join, Fetlife was the first he asked me about. Let me explain. I suggested adding BDSM to our relationship and then I …
We sometimes struggle to find topics to talk about, and rather than cancel I found an online kink questionnaire and we decided to go through it and see how our answers differed and what we shared an interest in. It isn’t the first time we have done these, in fact I think we have now done three or four of them. Usually I answer them and Mr H reads them, nodding or shaking his head. This time I sent him the link and we read …
Over the last 2 years our rituals have changed quite a bit, although the format has remained the same the words and actions have changed to suit our needs at the time. In the beginning, for our morning and night collar exchange I would always be kneeling. This collar exchange is our most ritualistic activity. Every now and then Mr H would tell me to stay standing so he didn’t have to bend down. This became more frequent until eventually the kneeling became a thing …
The prompt for this weeks SB4MH is what 3 things would you tell your 5 year self to remember? Sounds simple enough only it isn’t. I mean you can’t tell a 5 year old not to marry the first man she has sex with can you? Highly inappropriate. You can’t say tell your mum you want braces, cos you have no idea what braces could mean, but then again.. at 5 big things happened to me and so there are things I could say….. Remember…. …
I asked Mr H a few nights ago to tell me more about what turns him on. I am quite curious to know, and Mr H struggles to articulate these things. Normally when I ask him these questions he responds with “You do,” or “I don’t know what you want me to say,” so I gave him a few days to think about it. What turns him on revealed. This gone Wednesday night, when MrH climbed into bed, he began by saying, “So, you want …