Exploring Kink as a Monogamous Married Couple
We went away on Saturday overnight to our favourite hotel and things didn’t quite go as planned. That isn’t to say that a good time wasn’t had, because it was. But my mind and body were not quite in sync, and neither was Mr H’s. A painful body First of all I forgot to adjust my medications and so by the time we arrived at the Hotel I was feeling it. The pain made me snippy and I criticised Mr H’s driving. I didn’t tell …
It’s been a long time coming, this post I mean. It started a few days ago with my post “Is now a good time to talk?”, and continued with “History is a great teacher: Remembering the good times”. I’m talking about the sexy stuff of course. I haven’t hidden that Mr H and I have been finding it hard to connect intimately but this week we seem to have found our way back. Wednesday. You may remember we went to the munch, well that’s on …
History is a great teacher, and when we went to the Munch on Tuesday night the drive there and back gave us an opportunity to talk. We chatted about everyday things on the way there but on the way home we began to talk more intimately. We had talked a lot during the evening about our past history and it brought up some very good memories. Actually, before I go on, I need to go back. If you read my last post you’ll know that …
Well apparently, half past six (in the morning) is not a good time to talk but that is what happened. It all started innocent enough, I was telling Mr H about the chat on The Safewords Club the night before (it was about feeling submissive) and as I went through the various discussions we ended up taking about our situation too. What situation? The last few months our D/s has floundered a little. Or more to the point we are struggling to get back our …
Autumn, that wonderful time of year when the leaves turn golden brown and russet red. The birds start to migrate south, the temperature drops and the nights get longer. I have always had an affinity with Autumn, probably because my birthday is in October, but I just love the colours that can be seen in nature during this time of year. This has not always been the case though. Season of Sadness Several years ago that all changed. Seven days after my birthday my dad …
Safewords. You hear a lot about them when you first start out in BDSM and they get a cursory mention in 50 Shades, but are they really necessary? What if you are a married couple like Mr H and I? Surely there’s no need? Well I am here to tell you that in my opinion they are essential, even in vanilla relationships, and it comes down to a simple concept, CONSENT. Consent can be withdrawn at any time by anyone. We have always told our …
Everybody lies. There it is, plain and simple. I doubt there is a person alive who has NEVER told a lie, because I believe truth is in the eye of the beholder. I am certainly no saint when it comes to telling porkies, I told my boys Santa was real, and that they had the ‘real’ Buzz Lightyear toy. I told my share to Mr H too although this has reduced significantly since we introduced D/s to our relationship. The thing is, why did that …
When our relationship first came to include BDSM, I imagined every single possible moment would be filled with sex. I wouldn’t be able to move without Mr H thrusting a hard cock into me and telling me what how he was proud of me, and how he loved I was always ready for him. Of course I was not realising that the truth of the dynamic I asked for, being submissive to Mr H, meant accepting he would be the Dominant. He would be in …
We spent the day in the local a&e and although they gave me some more pain medication we did not achieve our goal; forward movement in a treatment plan. On the way home I asked Mr H to reclaim my arse. Knees up please. I did undergo all the usual tests which included my least favourite, the finger up the bum and being asked to squeeze their finger test. No really, that’s an actual test, to see if the anal sphincter muscles are working. The doctor told …
I practice being mindful often, and have done for years. It is something that you are encouraged to do during counselling after a breakdown, to not focus on the past, and to be present in the moment. It does take a lot of practice and I am not perfect at it, in fact most of the time I suck at it. How I practice being mindful. Everyday I try to take a few moments to close my eyes, and breathe. It is the only thing …